The Joys of Sexual Education
by Roslyn Drycof
Summary: Seventh years must take sexual education, and GryffSlyth has Snape and McGonagall as their teachers. Students must be paired up to complete a final project. Harry and Draco hate theirs, but must do it or fail. HD, sim. mpreg
1. Class Gets Interesting

Six part story. Rated PG-13 for moderately mature subjects and language. Genre is Romance/Humor with a dash of Drama. Warning of homosexuality, and slash is featured! Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co., and I don't make any money off of them.

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_**The Joys of Sexual Education**_

**Part One: Class Gets Interesting**

_By: Roslyn Drycof_

The classroom was filled with seventh year students, their faces showing disinterest and boredom. It was the fourth week of their mandatory sexual education course, and the Slytherins and Gryffindors just wanted it to end. At first, they'd been curious. They'd heard the tales from their older classmates from years before about how fun sex ed was. But so far, there was nothing fun about it. Learning about the reproductive system and the different forms of contraception, both muggle and magical, was boring beyond belief.

Worst, though, was who taught it. It was a joint class, taught by Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall because they were the Slytherin/Gryffindor Heads of House. The teaching didn't go very smoothly, although they'd been teaching together for over a decade. It was another thing to make the students dread three o'clock every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Two hours of absolute hell.

On this particular Friday, Harry Potter sat slouched in his seat, doodling on a piece of parchment. He lent half an ear to what Professor McGonagall was talking about, not really paying attention. Only when she mentioned something that caused everyone to break out in murmured whispers did he snap his attention back to the class.

Harry looked up just in time to see Theodore Nott slam a fist on the top of his desk with a shout. "I know all I need to know about poufs! They're fags and they deserve to rot in hell for their dirtiness"

Professor Snape shot to his feet at precisely that moment with a mottled look of rage on his face. "Fifty points from Slytherin for derogatory language."

"You can't mean that" the dark-haired boy gasped, shocked.

Snape arched an eyebrow, sneering"Oh can't I? As a "fag" myself, I find your attitude quite rude. Keep your opinions to yourself or you'll find yourself with several detentions with Filch."

Nott paled, although his eyes held a burning anger at his teacher's confession. The Slytherin Head of House was a pouf? Disgusting!

The rest of the class had been watching the exchange most avidly, and Professor Snape's words had stunned them into silence.

Harry wasn't as shocked as the rest of them. He'd started up his Occulmency again during sixth year and had caught a few images from Snape's mind that had been more than a little suspicious. Seeing your teacher involved in a few late-night rendezvous with your deceased godfather when they was young was a bit incriminating, you know.

He discreetly looked around the classroom, guaging everyone's reactions of homosexuality. Most of the Gryffindors seemed to be indifferent and almost all the Slytherins had looks of pure horror on their faces. Almost all. Draco Malfoy was the exception. His look was one of faked disgust, not quite covering up the fear/anger in his silver eyes. Harry only noticed his tightly veiled emotions because he'd gotten good at reading people the past year. A good actor had to learn that skill to be successful. And Harry was a very good actor. No one knew of the young man full of doubt and suffering hidden underneath his boyish, carefree mask. His mask was the one thing he was able to pride himself on completely.

_Malfoy looks like he's hiding a big secret. . .the secret of his sexuality_, Harry mused silently, biting the tip of his quill thoughtfully.

Harry wasn't a stranger to that. He was a closet flamer himself. And everyone thought he was as straight as a guy could be. No one would ever suspect the truth. And to think of it, no one would dare think about Malfoy being anything other than straight either. The blond went through girls like Dumbledore went through lemon drops. . .and that was saying something. Not that Harry didn't have a string of conquests himself, although they'd all been strictly second base or less.

He was jerked out of his thoughts when Professor McGonagall stood up with a strangely Dumbledore-ish twinkle in her usually stern eyes and announced"The subject of sexual orientation and homosexuality is an important one, especially considering the number of gay students in your year. In fact, there are homosexual students in this very room."

Malfoy sneered, a blatantly disbelieving look in his eyes. It was completely faked of course, but completely expected of the Slytherin Sex God.

McGonagall caught his look and smiled condescendingly. "No, Mr. Malfoy, I am not lying. Severus and I happen to possess a keen sense of observation. There are five gay students in here at this moment in time."

What the hell? Harry felt his insides go cold. They knew? Down to the exact number? He looked over the room quickly and could instantly tell who all five were. Dean and Seamus were pretty obvious to him, although they liked to think their relationship was a secret, and Millicent Bulstrode was obviously butch. And add in Malfoy and him. . .that made five. Fuck!

McGonagall went on to begin a lecture on finding out your sexual orientation and about coming to terms with it. Most important about her lecture was her emphasis on not discriminating against homosexuals. The lesson went in one ear and flew out the other. Harry knew all about the subject. He'd spend much of his summer after fifth year reading up on it once he'd realized that he'd held a more than ordinary interest for the male form.

Class ended quietly, most students rushing to get out of the classroom. This had been their most boring and yet controversial lesson yet. They'd hated it.

Harry stood up gathering his books together, when Ron slung an arm over his shoulder. "Wonder who those other two are. I know Seamus, Dean, and Bulstrode are gay. But the other two stump me. Got a clue, Harry"

The raven-haired teen shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. Maybe ask 'Mione. She'd probably know."

Ron frowned. "She said she doesn't have any idea. But man, I really want to know who they are."

"Why" Harry managed to sound only slightly interested, hiding the sudden thumping of his heart as he waited for his friend's answer. _Please don't let him be prejudiced_!

"Because it's weird. Girls are supposed to like guys, and vice versa. Not that I think badly of Seamus and Dean, of course, but you know. . .isn't the thought of two guys getting it on kind of queer"

Harry hid his hurt look excellently. "That's why they're called queers, Ron."

The redhead grinned at the quip. "Ha ha. That's great, Harry."

"I live to amuse" Harry said dryly, walking towards the Gryffindor common room with only a slight hitch in his step to betray his anxiety of the whole homosexuality topic. It hurt to know that his best friend wasn't more understanding of gays, and that most of the world held that view. . .or worse. Hadn't gays been sent to concentration camps during WWII in Germany simply because they were "freaks"?

* * *

Draco threw himself on his bed in the Head Boy's room, his stomach clenching unpleasantly. That lesson had been the worst one of his life. Talking about the one thing he had to keep secret at all costs? It had been torture! Especially when he saw everyone's opinion on it.

He'd known he was different back when he was thirteen and had noticed how attractive Potter had looked flying during a Quidditch match. At the time, it had disgusted him. Now, it still did, but only because this was Potter, his archenemy. He'd become resigned to being gay quickly, although he hated it. Why couldn't he be normal? But alas, it wasn't meant to be.

He hid it well, though. No one suspected. He'd made sure of it by immediately grabbing a girlfriend. Then another one. And another. The number of girls he'd gone out with was a mile long, or it seemed like it considering he hated each and every one simply because he couldn't find any attraction for them. Their bodies disgusted him, with their softness and squishy parts. Yuck. Guys were so much more attractive, with their hard muscles and smooth lines. He hated feeling this way.

Dinner that night was a dismal affair. He sat sandwiched between Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson, the worst homophobes he'd ever seen. And they wouldn't shut up about the stupid lesson!

"Really though, homos should be killed. They're disgusting and perverted. Seriously, up the ass? How gross" Pansy exclaimed, her face scrunched up in disgust.

Blaise nodded. "Yeah, it's really sick. Even the thought of two guys going at it makes me want to throw up."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Grow up. You're a Slytherin, things don't make you vomit."

The caramel-haired boy winced slightly at the tone of rebuke in Draco's voice. "But Draco, doesn't it make you feel ill"

Damn. How to answer this without giving anything away"Actually, the thought of Bulstrode going at it with some dyke does offend me."

And it did. But not because she was gay, but because it was Millicent Bulstrode. She was a fat cow who looked like Crabbe in a skirt. Disgusting!

Both Blaise and Pansy sniggered, their eyes looking over to a glaring Millicent sitting three seats down. The big girl had heard every word, but she couldn't say anything against Malfoy. He was the leader of the Slytherins and knew almost every Dark curse out there. Only Potter and his idiot friends were stupid enough to anger him. She sure as hell wasn't.

Taking a sip of his pumpkin juice, Draco let his silver eyes wander over the various tables assembled in the Great Hall. Nothing of interest was happening, but his gaze happened to catch on a certain figure sitting at the Gryffindor table. Potter sat there with his friends, a look of happiness on his golden face.

_It's fake. He's a fucking fake. People think he's every inch the Golden Boy, but he's not. He's almost as dark as I am. And he manages to get away with everything! Damn him_, Draco thought to himself, a scowl affixing itself on his aristocratic features.

How did Potter manage to fool everyone? They thought he was their faultless hero, the innocent savior who could do no wrong. How wrong they were. He'd seen Potter sometimes, wandering the corridors at night with shadows clouding his features and anger burning in his eyes like emerald fire. And the way the idiot went through girls, it was positively revolting. And yet everyone still thought he was pure and innocent? Hah! What fools!

Potter looked up and caught him looking at him. A contemplative look appeared in the Gryffindor's eyes and Draco immediately glared. He broke eye contact a few seconds later. Damn Potter. What was he thinking of? And why did it appear to involve him?

Swallowing the last bit of juice in his goblet, Draco stood and strode out of the Great Hall. This day had been hideous and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and be swept away by the oblivion of sleep.

* * *

Their next lesson was on Monday. Harry trudged into the classroom unwillingly, a scowl upon his face. His friends thought it was leftover from Potions class, where he'd lost thirty points for practically nothing. Harry saw no reason to correct their assumption.

Class started five minutes later. Both Snape and McGonagall had looks of barely supressed glee on their faces. On McGonagall, it was scary. On Snape? It was positively terrifying.

Harry slumped down in his seat, his arms crossed mutinously across his chest. He didn't like the looks of things, not at all. Two teachers who were known to be dour and stern did not just up and get happy looks of their faces for no reason. They were going to do something they thought was amusing, he just knew it. And it terrified the hell out of him. Teachers' ideas of amusing were not amusing. _Not_. _At_. _All_.

The Gryffindor Head of House cleared her throat and smiled at the combined class. "Good afternoon, everyone. Today is the start of our final project. It will be worth fifty percent of your grade."

She allowed a few moments for everyone to digest the importance of this, and for the groans everyone made in unison. "Professor Snape will be picking names out an enchanted hat which will choose your partners based on who will benefit most from working together. Then, both partners will reach into a different hat to choose the assignment most important for them to work on. You will have three weeks to complete the project."

Everyone groaned again. Enchanted hats were never fun. They always managed to pick the worst imaginable partners.

Snape made his way to the front of the room from where he'd been leaning against the wall. A smirk was present on his features. He pulled a tattered hat from his robe pocket and held it up. His right hand reached inside and pulled out a slip of paper. "Weasley, Granger. Expected that."

Everyone snickered at the drawling voice he used. Yes, their pairing had been expected as soon as the assignment had been announced. They were both completely in love with each other, although they were still not going out, being so thickheaded as they were.

"Finnigan, Thomas." Yet again expected.

"Zabini, Parkinson." Not so expected. The girl even pouted, her eyes looking forlornly at Draco Malfoy. She'd clearly wanted to be partnered with him.

The next pairing stunned everyone. "Potter, Malfoy."

"What"

"I refuse"

Both boys immediately responded angrily. Harry was filled with anger at the injustice of being partnered with his rival yet again, and on a stupid project in sex ed. Seriously! Why would he need to be partnered with that prat?

Malfoy's eyes burned like silver fire, his scowl black enough to murder. "I will not be partnered with that fool"

Harry turned and glared fiercely at him. "Like I want to be partnered with a git like you"

"Be quiet! You will accept you partners or fail" Snape bellowed.

They slouched back in their seats. Malfoy's eye twitched angrily. Harry's teeth ground together in an attempt to stay quiet.

Neither paid attention to the rest of the partnering. Why should they? They knew who their partner was, their partner from hell.

Then, as if their day couldn't get any worse, Snape came around only minutes later with a light blue hat with gold trimming. He pointedly glared at them, forcing them to reach into the stupid thing and pull out their assignment.

Harry's fingers accidentally skimmed across Malfoy's as he pulled his slip of paper out and gasped at the tingling feeling it produced. He jerked his hand back, the piece of paper crumpled in his hand. And looking over at the blond, Harry knew he wasn't alone in feeling that electical zap.

Scowling yet again that day, he opened up his slip and stared in growing horror at their assigment. But his horror was nothing compared to the boy's next to him.

-**Your assignent is to simulate a pregancy. By the use of a spell, Draco will become "pregnant" and go through all the stages of pregnancy. It will not be a real pregnancy, but it will feel like one. In three weeks, he will "give birth" after going through several hourse of "labor". This will include the pains, but they will not really be pains, only tingles in the abdominal region. Throughout the "pregnancy", both of you will record your feelings and thoughts and any interaction between the two of you. This assignment will help to promote bonding between the two of you and give a sense of what becoming parents is like.**

Harry watched Draco drop his slip of paper, his face white and his eyes flashing wildly. "You can't be serious! There is no way in hell I am going through with pregnancy, fake or not"

Mouths dropped open all over the classroom. What the heck kind of assigment was that? Especially when this was Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter we were talking about? They were straight guys, and enemies! Why would they need to know what pregnancy was like?

"Mr. Malfoy, you will go through with this assignment or be pulled from the Quidditch team. Is this understood" Professor Snape snapped, brimstone in his coal-black eyes.

The blond-haired Seeker instantly sat down, although he was clearly pissed off. But he didn't want to be pulled off the team, not when the biggest game of the season was against Gryffindor in a month.

Harry and Malfoy were forced to sit together, and they stared at their desktops with heated glares. It was a surprise their desks didn't catch on fire, their gazes were so strong. Although, the wood did grow a few degrees warmer. . .

"Draco, I will perform the spell on you now" Professor McGonagall announced, walking up to the two teenage boys.

He barely suppressed a cringe. He really, really didn't want to become pregnant, even if it wasn't real. Who would willingly put themself through that torture, even simulated"Can't Potter be the one"

She shook her head sternly. "Mr. Potter wasn't chosen by the hat to be the "mother". You were."

"Hell, don't call me that"

She didn't correct his language, instead motioning for the two boys to hold hands. Reluctantly, they obeyed. The stern teacher then told them several words to repeat in unison three times. Soon, a green light began flowing from Harry and towards Draco, who was glowing with a silver light. The green and silver light soon combined to form a golden light that gave a flare and was sucked into Draco's stomach region. Harry and Draco dropped hands, staring at the spot where the light had disappeared.

The Gryffindor Head of House smiled. "It's done. You will go through a trimester a week. Within two and a half days, you should start feeling the symptoms of morning sickness. Luckily, you'll only feel a bit nauseous and dizzy at most."

She quickly retreated, seeing the narrowing of his silvery eyes. A brave teacher she was, but sometimes the boy was a little too temperamental for her sanity.

Draco stopped glaring at her when he saw that she wasn't even recieving it. He turned to Potter and crossed his arms furiously. The idiot had a smirk on his face, a Malfoy smirk.

"Don't you dare think this is funny! I'm not letting you get off easy on this stupid assignment! As long as I'm in this disgusting condition, you're going to obey me. Understood"

"I don't think so, Malfoy. You're not really pregnant."

Draco clenched his fists and hissed"I'm going to look like it and it'll feel like it. There is no way in hell I'm letting you get the easy end of this stupid, fucking project"

Harry stared at his nemesis and had to suppress a shiver. Malfoy was angry, really angry. And it wasn't the usual anger. This was more personal. And a really pissed off Draco Malfoy who was taking this personally was not a good thing. He knew he'd be lucky to get out of this project with all his bones intact. . .if he was extremely lucky.

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A/N: Just a short story my inner muse demanded that I write. The idea hit me during French class (don't ask me why) and I was driven to write it immediately. It's a bit on the weird side, but extremely funny. Okay, okay, the humor isn't that much yet. But you do see what fun can be had with this situation, don't you? Harry is going to be put through hell by Draco, and I have a stunning plot twist planned. I bet you can't wait. . .

Note on other stories: I am very sorry, but I was hit with a major dose of writers' block during my period of non-net and couldn't write anything good for Spirit of the Veela. I scrapped anything I wrote, which wasn't much. But I've suddenly been hit with inspiration, so I'll have an update for it soon! And while you wait, I have other stories which I have been able to write.


	2. Perfecting the Death Glare

Six part story. Rated PG-13 for moderately mature subjects and language. Genre is Romance/Humor with a dash of Drama. Warning of homosexuality, and slash is featured! Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co., and I don't make any money off of them.

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_**The Joys of Sexual Education**_

**Part Two: Perfecting the Death Glare**

_By: Roslyn Drycof_

Their next class was on Wednesday. It was a day Harry really wasn't looking forward to. Malfoy had been giving him death glares the entire two days after the class on Monday. And if he'd thought Malfoy's glares had been scorching before? Now. . .they were like hellfire. Seeing those silver orbs of flame boring into his skull every time they were in the same room together got to be a bit unnerving.

Although, Harry didn't blame the git. He didn't know what he'd have done if he'd been the "mother". Probably blow up a few tables in the Great Hall or something like that. But seriously. Why would a teenage guy, who was by all appearances (to the general population) straight, need to go through a simulated pregnancy? And with his worst enemy, of all guys? Where was the logic in this? As far as he could see, none. Nada.

Ron and Hermione's project made so much more sense. They had to first work on a comprehensive list about each other and then become the other person by use of the Polyjuice Potion for the second week of the project. The final week would be comprised of writing down all the things they learned being each other.

Even Dean and Seamus's project made sense! They had to take care of a baby House Elf for the three weeks and record their feelings and thoughts about the whole thing.

So why in the bloody hell did he have to be stuck with Draco Malfoy, with the prat going through a fake "pregnancy"? It made no fucking sense!

And so on this wonderful Wednesday afternoon, Harry slid into his seat with great trepidation. He took out his project journal, which McGonagall had given each person as they left the classroom on Monday. Dipping his quill in ink, he wrote his first feelings about the project. It was easy.

-**Day Three**

**This project sucks. I hate it and I hate Malfoy. This makes no sense whatsoever. Whoever thought this up belongs in St. Mungos with Lockhart. With a straightjacket. And Voldemort for company. Maybe they can give old Voldie tips on how to fuck up the world even more. Yes. I just swore. And do I care? No. I say again. This project sucks and I don't give a shit if I fail it. I hate my life.**

"You hate your life? Try being me," a familiar voice snarled angrily.

Harry snapped his head up, dropping his quill and accidentally causing a black stain to spread on the bottom of the paper. Malfoy stood there, his face paler than usual (quite a feat) and his hair mussed up. His death glare was being used in full force.

"What the hell happened to you?" he blurted out, staring in shock at the disheveled blond.

Malfoy threw his rucksack on the ground and dropped himself haphazardly into his seat. "This fucking project happened, that's what."

At Harry's clueless look, the other boy growled. "You know how I'm supposed to experience "morning sickness"? Well it's started, and it's incredibly real."

"But Hermione looked up the spell for me. She said the strongest its supposed to be is slight nausea."

Draco dropped his head into the cradle of his arms and groaned, "Well, I had the whole enchilada. My stomach is now utterly empty."

A frown furrowed Harry's brows and he leaned over to dig around inside his rucksack. He pulled out the slim book his friend had gotten out of the library for him and flipped through it. Nowhere did it say that the subject of the spell would actually experience the full effects of pregnancy. Vomiting wasn't mentioned at all.

"Could you be sick?"

The blond raised his head and glared at him through narrowed eyes. "No, Pot-head. I'm not sick. Pomfrey checked."

Just then, Professor McGonagall announced, "Each day, you will check what your partner has written thus far in their project journal. You may do so now."

Great. Malfoy would get a kick out of what he'd written. The Golden Boy of Hogwarts swearing and acting quite uncharitably? A phenomenon!

Harry slid his open journal across their desks to the sickly-looking Slytherin and waited impatiently for him to give up his. Malfoy looked mutinous, his arms crossed and his mouth pursed.

"Malfoy, where's your journal?" Harry finally exploded after three full minutes of waiting for him to move.

"I'm not letting you read it," said the stubborn blond.

"And why not? Do you have some secret in there, like how you're really a flaming homosexual who loves cross-dressing?" Harry hoped this would get Malfoy to give him the stupid journal.

It worked, but not without a price. Malfoy practically lobbed the thin book at him, smacking him in the forehead. Wincing, Harry rubbed the offended piece of skin and glared at him. Malfoy simply raised an eyebrow and opened the journal on his desk.

Harry sighed and opened the green book that held Malfoy's thoughts about the stupid project.

**-Day One**

**I hate Potter. It's his fault I have to go through with this stupid thing. I know it. Snape is a greasy bastard. McGonagall is an ugly hag. I think they should just die. Now.**

**-Day Two**

**I hate life. It is my firm belief that whoever thought I needed to be partnered with a guy for this stupid project and go through a fucking pregnancy deserves to be tortured by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named for all eternity. I am not and I hate Potter. Why the hell can't I write gay? Wait. I just did. What the hell is going on? This stupid journal is a piece of . Damn. Is this this cursed? **

**-Day Three**

**I give up. I don't care if I fail. I want out of this stupid project! I hate throwing up. It's disgusting and gross and I hate it! I want Potter to . Damn. Why won't this write properly? I hate this! I hate it! I hate it! I HATE IT!**

The journal slid through Harry's fingers to drop on the desk with a thud. He looked at the silver-eyed boy, shock in his emerald eyes. Hermione had said the journals were bespelled so that only the truth could be written. A clever idea, and one that Malfoy really should've looked up. He knew what the blond had been trying to say when he'd first noticed it wouldn't write certain things. He'd been trying to write, "I am not gay." Looks like that little bit really wasn't true.

"So Malfoy, you _are_ gay. I never would've guessed, the way you go through girls," he said, smirking mischievously.

Draco dropped Potter's journal onto the desk and clenched his fists. What the hell? How did he know. . .oh shit. The journal hadn't written those words because they weren't true. That meant the stupid thing was bespelled. Damn! Now Potter knew!

Well. If Potter even for one second thought about using this information against him, he was sorely mistaken. "Well Potter, if I go through girls like that to hide the fact I'm gay, can the same reason be stated for why you screw so many girls"

"I've never screwed any of them" Harry blurted out, instantly regretting it. He clapped a hand over his mouth and wanted to berate himself for his stupidity when he saw Malfoy's look of glee.

"Aha! Proof you are gay!"

"That is not proof. Maybe I'm a chivalrous guy."

Malfoy snorted. "Potter, I know what kind of guy you are. You're a red-blooded teenage guy who gets hard every time he rides a broom. There's no way in hell you'd give up sex with all those girls if you were straight."

"Hey! I resent that," he shouted, flushing hotly. _How does he know?_

Suddenly, Draco felt a thread of nausea swimming through his stomach and groaned silently. Not now!

Obviously, the nausea didn't care. It got stronger and his innards roiled dangerously. Pressing a hand over his mouth, he bolted out of his seat and out the door to the nearest bathroom.

Harry was left stunned at his quick departure. Why had. . .oh. A hand over his mouth, his face suddenly paler. Morning sickness. A condition he really wasn't supposed to be feeling so strongly.

He stood up and got Professor McGonagall's attention. Making his way towards the door, he cocked his head in the direction Malfoy had left. She nodded, a puzzled expression on her stern features.

Once outside the room, Harry started jogging towards the bathroom he knew was closest to the classroom. He made it there within a few seconds.

He opened the door to the sound of Malfoy retching. Grimacing in sympathy, he called out, "You okay?"

The other boy took a few minutes to answer. Flushing the toilet, Draco rasped, "What do you think? I just lost any food I had left in my stomach, for fuck's sake!"

Uh, yeah. He kind of deserved that. It had been a stupid question. "How much longer does this last?"

"The rest of the week. Don't you know anything about pregnancy, Potter?"

"Um. Not really. I've never been pregnant or gotten anyone pregnant before. You know, the whole closet flamer thing."

Harry heard a faint chuckle from the blond and let out a breath of relief. At least Malfoy wasn't feeling so bad that he didn't catch the sarcasm in his voice.

"So you admit it."

"Admit what? That I'm so gay I could've been on _Queer As Folk_? That I'm so gay, I have several issues of Wizards and Their Wands stashed under my bed?"

Another chuckle was heard from behind the bathroom stall. "I never pegged you for the porno type, Potty."

Harry leaned against one of the sinks and replied"Think of what you just called me. And hey, I know you have just as many dirty mags as I do, if not more. That wand holder you had at the end of last year? I know that was from the April issue of Wizards and Their Wands. And I bet you know who was the centerfold for the July issue."

"Oliver Wood, wearing a special Puddlemere United uniform," the lanky blond muttered almost instantly.

"Oh yeah, most of the uniform was missing. A great picture. Dean has it stuck to the wall near his bed. It grosses Neville and Ron out, but he won't take it down."

"And why would he? It's a fabulous picture!" Draco said, sounding quite outraged.

Harry burst out laughing. "You do realize just how gay that sounded"

Malfoy strode out of the bathroom stall and washed his hands in the sink next to where Harry stood. "I'm not in denial about my orientation. I simply don't wish to broadcast that fact since there are so many homophobes in our school."

"It's going to come out sometime. Okay, that was _not_ intended as a pun."

The other boy shook his head in exasperation. "Potter, of course I know it's not going to stay a secret forever. What do you think I am? A Gryffindork?"

Harry narrowed his emerald eyes. "Malfoy, that was uncalled for."

"I have a right to say anything I want for as long as I'm puking out my guts because of some stupid project I'm stuck working with you on."

"Yeah, whatever."

Their next encounter was on Monday, being as class had been cancelled on Friday because Snape had been affected by a cauldron explosion in a fourth year class that morning. Most students had rejoiced at the reprieve, but Harry had actually been disappointed. He'd been looking forward to spending time with Malfoy, although he'd never let the lanky blond know that.

Malfoy was already in his seat when Harry walked into the classroom with Hermione and Ron. Today, Ron and Hermione were going to switch places, and had both been worried about it. Ron had even started hyperventilating.

_"But she's going to be me! And see everything!" the redhead had cried, slumping on his bed._

_Harry had vainly tried to suppress a giggle at the horror on his friend's face. "Ron, it's okay. It's not like she doesn't know what guys look like."_

_"What! You mean she's seen someone!" Ron had bellowed, looking insanely jealous. _

_"Calm down. I meant, since she's read so many books and is so smart. Of course she'd know what a guy looks like."_

_Ron had only looked a little relieved. _

Hermione had been almost as bad. She'd holed up in the library behind thick stacks of books. Her face had been pale and her hair had been a complete mess, tied up into a knot.

_"Harry, you don't understand. I can't let Ron be me! He's going to have to change clothes as me, and will see more than I ever intended for him to see!"_

_"You're acting just like him, you know. He's up in the dorm almost hyperventilating. It's quite amusing."_

_She'd looked shocked. "This is not laughing matter, Harold James Potter! I can't let him be me!"_

_He'd taken her by the shoulders and gently shaken her. "'Mione, it'll be okay. Just be glad you're not Malfoy right now. He was shut in the prefects' bathroom for hours this weekend just because his "morning sickness" wouldn't go away."_

_The brunette had wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Yuck. I definitely wouldn't want to be him."_

That had effectively stopped her from becoming a nervous wreck and she'd followed him to class, albeit reluctantly, but without more complaining. However, she and Ron looked anywhere _but_ at each other, their faces a bright Gryffndor red.

Harry left them at the door, striding over to where Malfoy was sitting with his head propped on his elbows. The blond was doing an effective job of glaring the houseplant on the windowsill to death. The poor thing looked quite washed out and sickly. . .the plant that is.

Malfoy did look a little worse for the wear, though. Underneath the scorching look in his silver eyes, misery lurked there. Harry had never seen Malfoy miserable before, but he knew misery when he saw it.

"Malfoy, you're killing the poor plant," he said, sitting down across from the lanky Slytherin.

Draco didn't take his eyes off the plant. "So? It's a pathetic piece of shit, anyway."

"Are you all right?" Harry asked worriedly, noting the growling tone in his rival's voice.

The other boy finally turned to look at him, anger shining in his grey eyes. "What do you think, Potter? That I'm having the time of my life?"

"But the morning sickness should be over by now."

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Of course it is, you idiot. But did you stop to even think about what happens when that ends?"

"Mood swings?"

"Yes, but I'm talking about the stupid swelling of my stomach! It's hideous," Draco shouted, slumping down in his seat with a scowl.

Harry was instantly curious. What did Malfoy's stomach look like now, "Can I see?"

The other boy looked at him as if he was insane. "Are you mental? Of course I will not show you my stomach!"

"Malfoy, come on. We're supposed to share the experience of pregnancy," Harry said, not knowing why the hell was was actually supporting the stupid project. He should be trying to stay the hell away from Malfoy, not asking to touch his abdomen. What was wrong with him?

"No."

"Malfoy. . ." the emerald-eyed teen said warningly.

Draco finally snapped. "Fine. You want to see this deformity? Go ahead."

With that, the blond shoved up his shirt. Harry couldn't see anything with the desks in the way, so he got up and rounded the wooden obstacles. And he froze. Malfoy's stomach was a porcelain white, pure and unblemished. . .except for the curved, emerald studded belly ring piercing his belly button.

"What the hell is that!"

Malfoy narrowed his eyes at the raven-haired teen. "What do you think it is, you idiot Gryffindor?"

The silver body ring with the single emerald set in its center captivated Harry and he unknowingly reached out a hand to touch it. Instantly, Malfoy shivered. "What are you doing?"

"Aren't you going to have to take this out?" Harry asked in a wondering tone of voice, ignoring Malfoy's panicked question.

Malfoy growled angrily. "Yes."

He didn't sound too happy, and Harry knew he was justified in feeling that way. Seriously though, the belly ring was hot.

After playing with the piercing for a few minutes while Draco tried to stop from making any movement to show how much the Wonder Boy's fingers affected him, Potter pressed both hands on the whole of his stomach. A half awed, half wistful looked appeared on the black-haired boy's face.

"It's not ugly," he breathed, massaging the slight rounding with wonder shining in his emerald eyes.

Draco felt his breath hitch at the feeling of Potter's hands on his pale skin. It felt wonderful, and he was loathe to admit that he was feeling pretty aroused.

"It _is _ugly, Potter. You're just blind," he said quietly, making sure to stay as still as possible.

Harry raised his head and looked straight into his rival's silver eyes. "No, it's not. Even though it's not real, it's still amazing. I would give anything for a child, but I'd never bring an innocent child into my life the way things are now."

Draco knew what Potter meant. To bring an innocent child into the middle of a war was sheer stupidity. And Potter definitely wouldn't be able to protect a tiny baby, no matter how much he loved it. Hell, Draco even knew that his own life was too hellish to bring a child into. But yes. . .a baby was something he wouldn't mind having.

As long as he wasn't the one to have it, though. He was terrified of pain. Hated it with a passion to rival his hatred of Potter.

Although. . .he didn't hate Potter as much as he used to. Funny how things changed because of a stupid project. Maybe they _had _needed to be partnered together. But their assignment still made no sense.

After a few minutes of silence, Potter removed his hands in a manner that was clearly reluctant and Draco lowered his shirt. Realizing how intimate what they'd just done was, they looked around the room embarrassedly. Luckily, only Professor Snape was looking at them. And he did it with a strange gleam in his coal-black eyes. It was a look that neither boy wanted to investigate.

The rest of the class went by much more normal. They switched project journals, commented on them, and spent the remaining twenty minutes with their heads cushioned in the cradle of their arms. It was nap time.

As Draco settled in for the little bit of shut-eye, he mused silently, _Looks like this is changing me more than I thought. Who'd have thought I'd be taking a nap during class? Amazing, really. . .

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_

A/N: Well, this is Part Two. A little more humor and some sweetness. No real slash, but we'll be getting to that in Part Three. Amusing, though. Don't you think?

And if anyone is wondering why some of the things were able to be written in their journals, like "whoever thought this up belongs in St. Mungos" is there when the journals are supposed to be bespelled to write only the truth. . .well, Snape thought up the project. And we all know Snape is a little left of center and does deserve what both Harry and Draco write. Does anyone else agree with me?

Oh, and I just spent ten of the most boring minutes of my life inserting the commas, exclamation points, and question marks from certain parts of the storythat decided to disappear when I uploaded. Why is it doing this! rant ended You may go review now. grin

Thanks for the reviews from Part One! And yes, the story only gets much funnier. . .in different ways. And sorry that I may have offended anyone with the negative viewpoints on gays given by the Slytherin students and Ron. It was written purely as motivation as to why Harry and Draco keep their orientation silent.

Hint for Chapter Three: Snape has a secret that our two sexy boys discover. What could that secret be and what does it have to do with Harry's Godfather?

Roslyn Drycof.


	3. Snape's Little Secret

Six part story. Rated PG-13 for moderately mature subjects and language. Genre is Romance/Humor with a dash of Drama. Warning of homosexuality, and slash is featured! Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co., and I don't make any money off of them.

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_**The Joys of Sexual Education**_

**Part Three: Snape's Little Secret**

_By: Roslyn Drycof_

Class was cancelled yet again on Wednesday, and all the students were told was that Professor Snape was indisposed. Most students let the subject go at that, just relieved they had another reprieve from the nasty Potions professor.

There was one student, though, that couldn't let it go at that. Draco Malfoy was burning up with curiosity about his godfather. He realized now that since the end of fifth year, Sev had been absent a handful of times with only the "indisposed" excuse. And since the Potions master had always hated missing classes in the years previous, the blond-haired Slytherin was intruiged.

And so that night, he slipped on the invisibility cloak he'd found up in the attics of Malfoy manor the previous summer and went up to Gryffindor Tower.

Other Houses were not supposed to know where each others' Houses were located, but this was Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince. It was a piece of cake for him to locate the other Houses. And although finding Gryffindor Tower had been the hardest out of the three, he'd only had to think of the highest Tower in the castle to find those egomaniacs.

He easily slipped in through the portrait hole the second some innocent second year opened it. The common room was full to bursting with stuffy Gryffindors, except for one very important Gryffindor. Harry Potter, the Boy Wonder, was missing. But no worry, Draco knew where to find him.

His suspicions were correct when he stole into the seventh year boys' dormitory and found Potter staring out the window by his bed. "Potter," he hissed.

The raven-haired boy whipped his head around at the sound and frowned. There was no one visibly there. "Malfoy?"

Draco slipped off his invisibility cloak with a smirk. "Who else would be lurking about invisibly?"

"I figured you had to have gotten an invisibility cloak somehow, with all the pranks played on Gryffindors after this summer."

"What? Didn't you think it was Peeves, like everyone else?"

Potter snorted. "I have the Marauders' Map. Peeves was nowhere around when they happened, and you were."

The infamous Marauders' Map? Now that was a prize any Slytherin would've loved to have, but of course Potter had to have gotten ahold of it. He always managed to get things Slytherins wanted, a peculiarly Slytherin trait to be found in a Gryffindor.

"Why are you here, Malfoy?" Potter asked, turning away from the window and coming to stand next to the not-so-slender Slytherin.

Draco narrowed his eyes at the way Potter's gaze flickered to his stomach region. "Don't look at it."

Harry sighed. "Malfoy, it's kind of hard not to look at it. You're four and half months along in the "pregnancy"."

"Do you have to remind me," the blond growled.

The other teen simply raised an eyebrow as if to say, "I'm your rival, would I give up a chance to annoy you?"

Draco let out a long-suffering breath and said, "Fine. Why am I here? I want to find out why Severus is "indisposed" and thought you might want to come along."

"Why?"

"Why? I don't know! This stupid project is making my thought processes go haywire, okay! I get the weirdest urges, and feel connected to you somehow. I can't help it!"

Harry looked at the silver-eyed boy and furrowed his eyebrows. He'd been feeling the same way lately, as if the "pregnancy" was doing something to draw them together. Like a bond, maybe?

"Okay. I'll come with you."

Draco had to hide a smile of happiness that he really did not want to be feeling in response to Potter's agreement. He slipped his cloak back on and waited while Potter found his own. In unison, they slipped out of the dormitory, down the stairs, and out of Gryffindor Tower.

It didn't take too long for them to reach Professor Snape's private quarters, although Draco's feet had started to hurt. A response to the "pregnancy", he figured.

Draco knew how to get into his godfather's rooms and easily got him and Potter inside. What they found surprised the hell out of them.

Professor Snape sat in a large armchair by the fire, reading a book to a very young child that looked to be about a year old. The little girl had wispy black hair and coal black eyes, and a grin on her face that did not look like it was inherited from Snape at all.

Suddenly, the girl pursed her lips together and scrunched up her nose. She climbed off of Snape's lap and took wobbly steps towards the entrance to the room. Harry and Draco tried to avoid her, but the blond was unsuccessful. Pudgy arms threw themselves around one of his legs and he was knocked over backwards. "Ouch!"

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, show yourself!" Professor Snape roared, a thunderous look on his face as he recognized his godson's voice.

Draco glared down at the now-grinning little girl and removed his cloak. She clapped her hands at his sudden appearance out of thin air. Then she held out her arms and demanded to be picked up. Draco looked terrified.

"Pick her up, you idiot," Snape commanded.

The grey-eyed boy hesitantly took ahold of her and lifted her up into his arms. She immediately placed a wet kiss on his cheek and giggled. He grimaced. Harry snorted in laughter.

The black-haired toddler's eyes lit up and she pointed to the space beside Draco. Knowing he'd been caught, Harry took off his invisibility cloak and bit his lip. How badly would the Potions' Master react to see him as well?

"Potter, what in the blazes are you doing here! And with Malfoy of all people?"

The Boy Who Lived shrugged his shoulders. "He asked me to come."

Severus Snape looked astonished. "Draco, what prompted you to ask him?"

"I don't know. This stupid project's making me do things I'd have never done in the past."

Snape smiled an odd half-smile. "Pregnancy will do that to you."

"But I'm not really pregnant."

His godfather raised an inky-black eyebrow at him. "It's a simulation, meaning it's as real as possible."

Harry frowned. "Wait. You mean you were pregnant?"

"Potter, how stupid can you get? Where do you think my daughter came from?"

The Gryffindor frowned again. "How could you have been pregnant without anyone noticing? It's kind of hard to hide. And how did you manage to hide her presence? The Marauders' Map doesn't show she's here."

The older man sighed wearily. "Sit down and I'll tell you. I was going to tell Draco sooner or later, and I guess you have a right to know as well."

Both teenagers were confused at the last part of Snape's statement, but they both sat down the nearby couch. The little girl crawled over to sit on Harry's lap, a soft smile on her face. Obviously, she'd just found two new friends to play with.

Severus leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment before beginning. "I became pregnant in May of your fifth year. No one knew except Dumbledore, and he didn't find out till after the incident in the Department of Mysteries. He only found out the truth when he noticed all of the protection charms I had placed on a certain part of my body. I lived life as normal, hiding my pregnancy quite successfully. I gave birth on January 21, a year ago today. Since then, my little Siria has lived hidden in my chambers with only myself and Dumbledore around to watch over her. Dumbledore also placed a spell on her to make her undetectable."

After he stopped speaking, Draco frowned at his godfather. "I don't get it. What about the other father?"

A sad light entered the professor's coal-black eyes. "He's dead, been dead for over a year and a half."

Harry, who'd been puzzling over his daughter's name, suddenly gasped. No, it couldn't be. "You can't mean Sirius was her father!"

Snape turned to look at him with a world of love and grief in his eyes. "Yes, the mutt was Siria's father. We used to hate each other horribly, and then had an affair our seventh year of school. The War tore us apart and we went back to hating each other. Then, two years ago we got over our hatred yet again. It became love and I soon became pregnant, although I didn't tell him because of the situation at the time. He then fell through the Veil and was lost forever. Siria is the only thing I have left of him."

Harry lifted up the little girl and stared into her dark eyes. She had the features of Snape, there was no doubt about that, but she also look much like Sirius. Her shining eyes and mischievous grin were clear signs of the Marauder in her.

"How can you do this? How can you bring up Siria all alone? Knowing she'll never know her father, knowing Sirius will never be around to love her?" Harry asked, his voice broken and rasping.

Tears glittered in Professor Snape's eyes. "What else can I do? There's nothing I can do about this."

Suddenly, he gasped. "Wait a moment. . .I can't be positive, but I think there's a way. . ."

The Potions' Master got to his feet and strode over to an antique bookcase. He quickly pulled out an old tome, yellowed with age. A strange gleam entered his eyes as he flipped through the pages to the one he wanted. "Yes!"

Draco got to his feet and walked over to his godfather. "What is it?"

"There's a way to bring him back. I don't know why I didn't remember this sooner, but it just might work!"

"What will?" the blond asked, peering over his shoulder to look at the spell. It was an ancient spell, from back when blood magic ruled heavily over the wizarding world.

Snape lifted the heavy book and said, "This is a spell that is more blood magic than anything. Blood magic fell out of favor years ago because much of it is considered dark simply because it used blood. But some of the most powerful magic can be found in these spell. The spell I just found is very rare because the participants must all be connected by certain bonds to each other and the person being resurrected."

"Wait. How will this work then? Who do you know is connected like that?" Harry asked, shifting a sleepy Siria so that her head nestled in the curve of his neck and shoulder.

"I am Draco's godfather, just as Sirius is your godfather. In the magical world, godparent bonds are very strong, and almost as strong as the bonds between parents and children. Siria is the daughter of Sirius and I, and Draco is carrying your child, so-"

Draco interrupted, "I'm not really pregnant."

Snape looked at him condescendingly. "But the simulation spell uses blood magic to tie you both, and the simulation conbines both of your magic, just like a real child does. As I was saying earlier, these bonds connect us all and we can bring Sirius back."

"This could actually work?" Harry asked seriously, a hopeful light in his emerald eyes.

The older man nodded. "Yes. It has a very good chance of succeeding."

"When will we do it?" Draco asked, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the couch.

Severus' eyes flicked to the rounding beneath his godson's robes and he replied"Friday evening. You'll be near the end of your fifth month by then and the energy bond between you and Potter should be strong enough."

"What if it's not?" he asked.

"Then we'll try again in his sixth month. If that doesn't work, we'll try in the seventh. But it should work on Saturday since you both possess higher than usual amounts of magical energy. The pregnancy is already more real than it usually is when simulated. I believe it feeds on your strong magic and reacts more strongly because of that."

Draco glared down at his rounding belly. "Stop feeding so greedily!"

Harry had to stifle a laugh at Malfoy's ridiculous behavior, instead burying his nose in the silky hair of his godfather's daughter. Siria giggled, digging her little fingers more tightly into the folds of his robe.

"Time for bed, Siria," Professor Snape said softly, walked over to take the little girl into his own arms. She whimpered, her dark eyes pleading with him. "Siria, I don't care if it's your birthday. Your bedtime is still the same. Say goodbye to Draco and Potter." She let out a soft cry, tears gathering in her eyes.

Harry and Draco made their way to the brick wall that was the entrance/exit to Professor Snape's quarters, reluctance showing in their movements. Siria was sweet girl and they didn't want her to cry because they were leaving.

"Can we come back tomorrow night?" Draco asked his godfather hopefully.

Snape nodded and murmured to the sad girl, "See, Siria? They're going to come back tomorrow."

She pouted and started wriggling, trying to get of her father's grasp. Just as the two boys left the room, she managed to get free and ran on unsteady legs to the wall they'd left through. "Uh uh"

Severus smiled softly at the demanding tone in his daughter's voice. She was so much like Sirius sometimes. . .

Draco and Harry visited the little girl the next night just like they'd promised and had a lot of fun playing with the mischievous girl. All three of them went to bed that night utterly exhausted, but happy.

Friday morning dawned too soon for the two tired teenagers, but they managed to get up and ready for the day without too much trouble. This wasn't to say they didn't sleep during almost every class, that is.

Draco walked into the sex ed class at three o'clock yawning. He found Potter already at his desk and made his way towards it slowly. Unfortunately, he was starting to feel the strain of the simulated pregnancy and moving fast was not recommended when his feet were sore and his back ached.

Harry watched his rival walked towards him and felt an odd throb in his heart. Malfoy looked wretched, exhausted from the night before added with the strain of his "pregnancy". The blond moved as if it was a trial to walk faster than at a snail's pace and his face was pale and drawn.

"Why aren't you in bed?" were the first words out of the Gryffindor's mouth.

Draco lowered himself into his seat, a grimace twisting his features as his back protested. "You're forgetting this is simulated. I have no excuse to miss classes."

"That's bullshit. This pregnancy, real or not, is taking its toll on you! How are you going to last till tonight!"

The blond stuck out his chin and told him, "I'll make it, don't worry. I'm going to take a nap after this class and it should help."

"What about supper?"

"I'll miss it, but so what? Sleep is more important."

Harry glared at him. "You need to eat."

"The hell I do. I'm the size of a whale."

"Yeah, right. Your stomach's only the size of a melon."

"A watermelon!"

"Malfoy, the "pregnancy" is feeding off your energy. That means you have less energy, and need the energy eating gives you."

Draco narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "Why do you care, anyway! It's not like we're friends or anything."

"That's because you're a selfish prat who thinks only of yourself!"

The silver-eyed boy gasped angrily. "I do not! You're an overbearing idiot of a Gryffindor who doesn't know how to mind you own business!"

"Take that back, you rotten git!"

Draco clenched his teeth together and hissed, "I hate you. Go jump off a cliff and die for all I care!"

He got to his feet as fast as his burgeoning figure would let him and stalked out of the classroom. Tears glittered in his eyes and he vainly tried to suppress the feelings of hurt that overwhelmed him.

Harry saw the shimmering in the Slytherin's eyes and wanted to smack himself. He'd been the one to start the argument, knowing Malfoy was already under the strain of the pregnancy, however simulated it was.

"Wait, Malfoy!" he called out, jumping to his feet and hurrying after the other boy, not caring that several pairs of eyes staring in shock at his departing figure. The other teen simply quickened his strides. Harry tried again. "I'm sorry."

Malfoy suddenly stopped, turning to glare at him. "No, you're not. You meant every word! And why shouldn't you? We're enemies! I'm glad you reminded me of that fact."

With that, he turned around again and walked off towards his rooms as Head Boy. His body protested at the fast pace, but he didn't slow down. His mind was in chaos and he just wanted to be alone. _How could I have forgotten that we're rivals, even for a little while? I'm so stupid! I'd even begun thinking. . .no, I can't think of that. It's too pathetic. I'm pathetic!_

Harry stared after Malfoy, guilt swimming in his stomach. _Why did I have to go and screw everything up with my stupid mouth? We'd actually started getting along, and then I had to go and be stupid! I don't want to be enemies with him anymore! _

His shoulders slumped and misery in his eyes, he walked back into the classroom and threw himself into his seat. He sat there for a few minutes before he noticed that Malfoy had left his rucksack. His project journal poked out from one corner and Harry felt a jolt of curiosity go through him.

_No, I shouldn't. It's his. But. . .I'm supposed to read his journal. No, I can't. He's not here. I shouldn't. . .but it wouldn't hurt anyone if I read it without him here. Right?_

After fighting a short war with his conscience, he lifted the journal from the rucksack and flipped it open.

-**Day 10**

**This project isn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Yeah, I keep getting weird urges to be around Potter, but it's okay. He actually isn't as bad as I'd thought and has a cool sense of humor. **

**We went to Snape's quarters tonight to see why Snape was indisposed and found out something huge. He has a daughter named Siria, and the other father was Sirius Black. She is the cutest little girl I've ever seen. We found out a spell to bring Black back to life. It's a weird coincidence, because my simulated pregnancy is going to act as a bond between me and Potter that's needed for the spell to work. I hope it works because Sev needs some happiness in his life, and taking care of Siria looks hard. And although Sirius was said to be a mass murderer, he had to be a good guy since Sev and Potter think so much of him. Both of them deserve the guy to be resurrected.**

**-Day 11**

**We played with Siria tonight, and I am dead tired. She kept us running around the entire three hours we were there. Add that to this simulated pregnancy, and I am exhausted. Potter is pretty good with kids, I found out. He'd be a great father. I don't know if I would be. It's a good thing this pregnancy is only simulated because I don't want to find out. What if I screwed up? I always screw everything up. I screwed up being a proper Malfoy, becoming friends with Potter all those years ago, being a real enemy of Potter's. . .the list could go on and on. I don't need anything else to screw up on.**

Harry dropped the journal, his fingers numb. Malfoy had written some personal stuff in there, even though the blond had known he'd see it. And he felt even worse than before for hurting him.

For the rest of the class, he sat there staring off into space. Thoughts churned through his mind and he made a resolution to make it up to Malfoy. Even though they'd been enemies for years, Harry knew they couldn't remain enemies anymore. And especially since Malfoy said he screwed up at being his enemy? That meant something, even if the blond would never admit it to his face.

When suppertime came around, Harry walked into the Great Hall and quickly ate before piling up a plate full of food for Malfoy. The silver-eyed boy's rucksack slung over his shoulder and a plate of steaming hot food in his hand, he made his way towards the Head Boy's room.

Biting his lip nervously, he knocked on the portrait that was the entrance to Malfoy's room. There was no response.

"Malfoy," he called out.

A few minutes passed before a disgruntled voice yelled, "Go away, Pot-head!"

Harry took a deep breath and said loudly, "I brought your rucksack and some food."

There was no answer and Harry began to think Malfoy wouldn't let him in, when the portrait swung open to reveal the sleepy-looking Slytherin. Surprise shone in his grey eyes when he saw that the other boy did indeed have his rucksack and a plate full of food.

"Why?" he asked.

Harry shrugged. "I really didn't mean what I said earlier. I thought I should make it up to you, so I brought you some supper since I knew you were going to miss it."

Draco stared at him for a long moment before stepping aside to let the raven-haired teen into his rooms. Potter was being completely honest and actually seemed to feel guilt for earlier.

"Why? Earlier wasn't your fault. We _are_ rivals."

The Gryffindor shook his head. "I don't want to be rivals anymore. We're getting too old for that childishness. I like it better when we're being civil to each other."

Draco smirked to hide the relief and happiness he suddenly felt. "It's a good thing you said "civil" and not "nice" because I am never nice."

Harry just snorted with laughter and handed the plate of food to the other boy. Malfoy took the plate with hunger shining in his grey eyes. Harry hid a grin, setting his rucksack on the floor near his other school things.

They sat down in the chairs in front of the fireplace and shared a companiable silence while the Slytherin ate. Draco finished in no time, having been ravenous. He was glad Potter had brought the food because it did help. He felt more full of energy and less drained.

"So, are you ready for tonight?" Harry asked a few minutes later, drumming the fingers of his right hand on the arm of his chair.

Draco noted the other teen's anticipation and rolled his eyes. "Of course I am. Are you? You're going to see the one person you care about most in the world who you thought was lost forever."

Potter turned emerald eyes that shone brightly in the firelight towards him and whispered"What do you think?"

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A/N: Well then. This story has evolved from a little fic with humor and fluffy romance to something completely different. I have no idea where this chapter came from. I wanted Snape to be indisposed for some reason, and then the idea for Snape to have a daughter came from that. Then, I got the idea to make Sirius the father. And then, I realized the connections between all of them and the blood magic spell hit me. So, now Sirius is going to be resurrected.

A little sidenote, this story was originally going to be three chapters long. But um, I got carried away and so now it's six. I hope you're enjoying my little runaway story! Please review.

Oh, and thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! I've only had the story up for a few days and have over 50 reviews! I hope you guys appreciate the fact that I'm being very nice by updating every two to three days instead of waiting my usual two to three weeks. So, you don't have to wait long for Chapter 4.

Hint for Chapter Four: Draco collapses, oh no! And what's this? A little slash action between the boys? Oh, and don't forget the scene in the Great Hall. . .mwahaha. . .

Roslyn Drycof.


	4. Teary Reunion

Six part story. Rated PG-13 for moderately mature subjects and language. Genre is Romance/Humor with a dash of Drama. Warning of homosexuality, and slash is featured! Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co., and I don't make any money off of them.

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_**The Joys of Sexual Education**_

**Part Four: A Teary Reunion**

_By: Roslyn Drycof_

Seven o'clock rolled around, the appointed time for the spell-casting. Harry and Draco stood in Professor Snape's quarters, waiting while the Potions' master went over the spell one last time.

A large, uncut crystal lay on the floor with runic symbols surrounding it in a small circle.

Draco was rubbing his stomach, feeling odd twisting movements inside of it. They didn't feel bad, but they were disconcerting. He supposed it was the "pregnancy" simulating a baby's movements, another side effect of his and Potter's strong magic since this was an occurence that had not happened in other simulated pregnancies.

Snape finally looked up from the old tome of spells and told them, "Stand in a circle around the crystal focus, Potter next to Draco, who's next to me, with Siria on my other side."

Harry and Draco did what he said while Severus placed Siria on his right side. The little girl was smiling with an expectant look in her coal-black eyes, as if she knew what was going to happen.

The older man then pulled a magically reinforced glass knife from his robe pocked and created a small cut on the palms of both hands. He did the same to Siria, who amazingly didn't cry out in pain, only whimpering slightly.

"Potter, Draco, do the same," he said to the two teenagers, handing his godson the bloodied knife.

They created identical cuts on their palms and Draco handed the knife back to Severus. He set the knife aside and then reached out to grasp his daughter's hand. Reaching out his other hand towards Draco, he ordered, "Take ahold of my hand and then grab Potter's right hand. Potter hold out your left hand towards where Sirius would stand. Siria, hold out your hand too."

The two boys immediately obeyed, wincing only slightly when their hands stung at the contact. Siria also obeyed, a serious light entering her young eyes. "What's going to happen?" Draco asked then.

"We're going to focus our energy through the crystal and towards the space where Sirius would be in the circle. Siria will act as the bond between Sirius and I, you and I are bonded, your blood mixing with Potter's will activate the bond between you two through your "child" and Potter has a bond with Sirius. Our bonds will connect our energy to recreate the missing link, Sirius."

Draco nodded, understanding. It was an interesting spell, but its logic was sound and should work perfectly.

"Okay, close your eyes and focus your energy through the crystal. Push it through the crystal and towards the space where Sirius would be, imagining him there. Clear?"

The three other participants nodded. Siria was a precocious child, and as a witch, instinctively understood magic. They all closed their eyes and searched inside of them for their magical energy.

Their blood mingling in tight grasps, their power rose within them and they pushed it towards the crystal in the center of the circle. The runes surrounding the crystal began to glow and the crystal itself became filled with a myriad of colors. Green light flowed from Harry, silver from Draco, and gold from their "child". Black light flowed from Severus and red from Siria. They all mixed in the crystal, swirling brightly until they formed a single, blinding color. White. The purest of white light shone from the crystal and shot towards the space where Sirius should have been in the circle.

The participants in the circle felt their energy draining, felt themselves growing unbearably tired, but still they focused their magic towards the crystal. Suddenly, the crystal shattered and the white light filled the room. Then just as suddenly, it gathered in the place where Sirius should have been. It formed the shape of a man, and just as the four giving their energy were about to collapse, it disappeared. . .leaving a black-haired man lying on the ground gasping for breath.

Four pairs of eyes opened and three gasps were heard, plus one shriek of delight. "Sirius!" Severus shouted, rushing over to kneel beside the naked man.

Sirius' eyes slowly opened and they showed astonishment. "Sev?"

A small figure suddenly jumped on him, tiny hands patting at his shoulders. The ex-convict stared in shock at the little girl that grinned up at him. "Da!"

He reached up his arms to take ahold of the warm figure, holding her gently, as if she might break. "Sev, who's this? What happened? I thought I fell through the Veil."

A teenaged voice said softly, "You did."

Sirius jerked his head up to look at his godson. "Harry!"

An imperious voice moved his attention back to the little girl. "Da! Da!"

A small smile curved Severus Snape's thin lips. "She's yours, Black."

"Mine?" the other man gasped, surprised beyond belief. He had a daughter?

"I was pregnant when you fell through the Veil. I had her in secret and went on with life, thinking I'd never see you again. But something happened to make me realize there was a way to bring you back. Draco and Potter, along with Siria, helped me bring you back to life tonight."

Sirius hugged his daughter to him and asked, "How? How was it possible without using Dark magic, something I know you wouldn't use?"

"A bit of blood magic that relies on the bonds between all of us in this room right now. It uses the bonds between godparents and their godchildren, and parents and their children."

"Harry has a kid with the Malfoy boy?"

Harry was the one to respond this time. "No, it's only a simulated pregnancy for sex ed."

"Oh, you're in _that_ class now. Hmm, that class was fun." A faraway gleam appeared in the ex-convict's dark eyes.

Snape raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh, really? You didn't think so at the time."

"Hey, a telepathic bond was forced between us. It was horrible!" he laughed.

"Not after a while, it wasn't," the Potions' professor said with a wicked grin.

Draco, quiet during the reunion, suddenly shut his eyes and swayed slightly. Harry, standing next to him, gasped and put an arm around the blond's shoulders to steady him. "Are you all right?"

The other boy shook his head slowly, leaning heavily against the Gryffindor. "I feel. . .so drained. I-"

He collapsed and Harry had to move quickly to catch his suddenly leaden body. Panic shone in Harry's emerald eyes as he cradled the Draco's unconscious figure in his arms.

"What's wrong with him?" he cried out, pleading with the Potion's master.

Severus frowned, puzzled. "I don't know. The spell took a lot out of all of us, and it's possible that coupled with his "pregnancy", his body just couldn't handle it. A lot of rest should help him recover."

Harry nodded. Moving towards the entrance of Snape's rooms, he said to Sirius, "It's great having you back, but I'd better go make sure Malfoy's okay. Is that all right with you?"

His godfather immediately responded with agreement. "Certainly. I'll see you tomorrow though, right?"

A grin was what the ex-convict got in response as Harry left the room.

Harry strode quickly through the corridors, glad that Draco's room was nearby. The portrait guarding the entrance to Draco's rooms was very accommodating in opening up for him, seeing Draco cradled in his arms.

Harry entered Malfoy's bedroom and gently placed the blond's inert figure on the spacious bed. To make the other boy sleep more comfortably, he took off his shoes and robe, pausing only slightly to look wistfully at the mound of his belly. _I know I have no right to think this, but I wish his "pregnancy" was real. . ._

He then straightened and moved to leave the room. But suddenly Malfoy started moving restlessly, whimpers spilling from his lips. Worried, Harry walked back towards the bed, reaching out a hand to touch Draco's shoulder. The silver-eyed boy instantly settled, moving towards the touch.

Harry tried to walk away again, but the other boy started crying out softly almost immediately. Harry touched his shoulder again, and this time a hand reached up to grab him and pull him down beside the blond. Lying next to the quieted boy, Harry sighed. He knew there was no way he was going to be able to leave.

Slipping off his robe and shoes, he settled himself comfortably beside the sleeping Slytherin. Sleep soon consumed him, the effects of the spell finally taking their toll on him. So deeply did he fall asleep, he didn't even notice as the other figure on the bed curled himself against him.

"Well, would you look at that. They're still asleep." A loud voice speaking nearby brought Harry and Draco out of their comfortable sleep.

Practically tangled up in each other, they looked up to find Sirius Black standing beside the bed. Professor Snape stood next to him, Siria in his arms.

"Now we aren't," Draco grumbled, burying his head against Potter's warm shoulder.

That manuever got him a laugh in response from his godfather and the ex-convict. He simply burrowed closer to the boy beside him. Tightening an arm around the blond, Harry asked Snape, "What time is it?"

"Four o'clock on Saturday. Your friends should be coming back from Hogsmeade soon."

Harry gaped at him. "You can't mean we slept for twenty hours!"

"Yes, you did. I know Draco needed the sleep, but I didn't expect you to sleep this long, too."

"This long? Not long enough," Draco grumbled.

His godfather laughed, a rare sound coming from the usually-grumpy Potions' master. "You like sleeping next to the idiot?"

"He's not an idiot and he's warm," was the muffled response from the sleepy Slytherin teen.

He moved his body closer to the Gryffindor's, tangling his feet with his. Somehow during their long sleep, they'd managed to get under the covers. An odd feat, but one that both boys were glad of. And Harry knew exactly how glad he was when he felt Malfoy's arousal press against his hip. It was a usual waking-up hard-on, but it was apparent that Draco liked having it when he snaked his right hand up Harry's stomach and chest in a very tantalizing manner.

Suddenly glad he didn't blush easily, Harry said to the adults in a surprisingly steady voice, "We're going to stay in bed a bit longer. Is it all right if we see you after supper? Say around seven?"

Sirius was more than a little suspicious that Harry wanted to wait so long to talk, but he figured out the reason why when he noticed a slight movement underneath the covers and saw his godson's breathing hitch slightly. "Sure Harry, you take however long you need to _rest_. I'll see you later."

Severus, Siria, and Sirius left the room and Harry let out a sigh of relief. He narrowed his eyes at the blond-haired boy in his arms and murmured in in a silky-soft voice, "Are you going to continue to tease me or are you finished?"

Draco paused from where he was running his fingers around Potter's nipples. He lifted his head and grinned wolfishly. "Continue."

He knew it was a risk, considering that fact that Potter had never shown a glimpse of interest in him that way, but he couldn't help it. He wanted Potter. A lot.

Harry searched Malfoy's silvery eyes penetratingly, but couldn't find anything but honest lust. . .and trust. It was then that Harry realized he really wouldn't be averse to the other boy continuing. And so he leaned towards the blond and settled his mouth over his. Both boys gasped at the contact, instantly melting into each other's embrace.

They shifted positions so that Harry's was above Draco, his legs straddling either side of the Slytherin's hips. His hands were pressed against the pillow on both sides of his head, keeping his weight away from the large mound that was Draco's stomach. They kissed unhurriedly, their mouths working gently against each other's.

Desire soon made Harry's arms weak and he rolled to the side, bringing Malfoy with him. He kissed the blond's neck, running a hand through his hair. Draco gasped, pressing closer to him. But then the silver-eyed boy suddenly pulled away, a tortured look on his face.

"How can you stand to kiss me when I'm like this?" he asked.

Harry reached out a hand and pressed it against his rounded belly. "I've told you before, it's not ugly."

"And I've told you you're blind," he replied, a disgusted expression on his face.

"You don't mean that. I read the latest entries in your project journal. You're just afraid of screwing up."

Draco turned his head away, ashamed that Potter now knew. He'd known the other boy would read his words at some point, but now that he had, he regretted that he'd written them.

"Don't. I've screwed up just as much as you. No, don't get that look. It's true. I've screwed up so many times, I hate it. I've faced Voldemort several times already and I always screw up and let him get away. I screwed up and got Sirius killed. I screwed up and almost made us enemies again. I could say so much more, but you don't need my life story." Harry had a steely tone in his voice and it made Draco look him in the eyes.

Draco sighed, biting his lower lip. "I just. . .I sometimes wish this was real, but then I realize I could never let that happen. I pretend to hate it because I want it so much."

"I know what you mean, and I know I have no right to think that way. Up until a couple weeks ago, you didn't even like me!"

The other boy shifted, a hand coming up to rest on his belly. "Actually, that's not true. I've kind of had a crush on you since fifth year."

Harry's eyes widened. What! "You couldn't have."

"I did, all right! I thought you were bloody hot," Draco yelled, his cheeks flushing red.

A strange gleam entered Harry's eyes. "Do you still think I'm hot?" he whispered in a husky voice.

Startled, Draco nodded. He was totally unprepared when Potter lowered his head and hungrily attacked his mouth. Draco immediately gave in, uncaring of his worries from earlier. Their kiss only paused when Harry murmured, "You were right. I'm as red-blooded as they come."

Draco nibbled at the corner of Harry's jawline. "Wouldn't want you any other way."

They spent the next hour doing exactly what they hadn't wanted to do with any of their girlfriends. . .

They were only a few minutes late for supper, but recieved peculiar stares from their fellow students as they walked in together. They weren't touching each other in any way, but they both had wet hair and a satisfied gleam in their eyes.

Harry went over to sit down at Gryffindor table next to Hermione, who frowned at him. "And where were you all day?"

"Sleeping."

She raised an eyebrow. "You were gone all night and day, and you say you were sleeping? Why do I not believe that?"

The emerald-eyed boy shrugged his shoulders and started piling food onto his plate. He was ravenous!

"You look like you've just had the shag of your life," Seamus commented from across the table, a knowing look in his light brown eyes.

Harry shrugged again, taking a bite of his roast chicken. Mmm, it was delicious.

"You know, I heard from the Slytherins that Draco was missing the entire time you were. Isn't that interesting, Harry?" Hermione said, setting her fork down to gaze steadily at her best friend.

"He was sleeping, too. Last night tired us out," the raven-haired boy told her.

Everyone in the immediate vicinity gasped. Ron's face lost all color. "Y-you-"

Harry grinned toothily. "No, we did not shag last night. We were helping Professor Snape with something."

Hermione caught the inflection in his voice on "last night" and wanted to roll her eyes at him. He was being very evasive, and why in the blazes had he helped Professor Snape?

"You didn't have detention last night, Harry," Dean said, a frown on his face. Everyone knew that the only reason people helped Snape was when they had a detention with him.

"I know. Me and Malfoy helped him out because we wanted to. It was something he needed our help with."

"Um. Harry, mate. Why would Snape need _your _help?" Ron asked, perplexed. Everyone knew Harry wasn't the brightest tool in the shed when it came to Potions.

Suddenly, a little girl with coal-black eyes and wispy black hair ran into the Great Hall with squeals of laughter. She headed straight towards the Slytherin table where Draco Malfoy sat. The Slytherin Ice Prince stood up and frowned at her. "Siria, aren't you supposed to be in Sev's rooms?"

She simply raised her arms and demanded to be picked up. Draco shook his head at her. "It's kind of hard to bend down, honey." She stamped her foot and pouted.

Blaise Zabini, who was sitting in the seat beside Draco, asked his housemate, "Malfoy, who's the little brat?"

Siria's eyes widened and she made a barking sound at the caramel-haired boy. It was a sound that appeared eerily like what they'd heard from Professor Lupin's black dog all those years ago.

Strong arms swooped down and picked the mischievous girl up. She giggled and clapped her hands at the owner of the arms. Harry Potter grinned at her in response. "Siria, where's your father? Or fathers, should I say?"

She pointed towards the doors to the Great Hall, where a man with a thunderous expression on his face strode in, a black dog loping in behind him. "Siria Rose Snape-Black! Come here this instant!"

Siria stuck her tongue out at him and wrapped her arms around Harry's neck. "Da!"

Professor Snape stalked up to his daughter and said angrily, "Siria, he did not go away! He's right here!"

She shook her head. "Wan' bi' da!"

"He's can _not_be big now."

She shrieked angrily. Harry winced at the sound that was right in his ears. He tried to calm her down. "Siria, he's not allowed to be big right now. You can see him later."

"Uh uh!"

Even Draco tried to make her see reason. "Honey, you don't want him to get in trouble, now do you?"

The little girl only shrieked louder. Then she suddenly stopped and her eyes sparkled with excitement. She made Harry let her go and she shoved his hand in Draco's. Then she made Harry touch the black dog and forced Snape to hold her hand and Draco's hand. Finally, she touched the dog and shut her eyes. Severus tried to protest and pull his hand out of hers, but she tightened her grip and suddenly there was a large welling of magical energy.

And where there was once a black dog, there was now a black-haired man in clothes that were slightly ill-fitting. Sirius Black glared down at his daughter and admonished, "Siria, you are not allowed to do that!"

She held out her arms imperiously and demanded to be held. Sighing, the ex-convict picked her up and she snuggled happily into the crook of his shoulder.

Dumbledore had been watching this scene with amusement and now said, "Ah, Sirius. It's good to have you back! And what an appearance your daughter has orchestrated! She would made a lovely Slytherin someday."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at the great wizard. "Ha! As if I'm letting her become a evil Slytherin git."

He shouldn't have said that. Severus smacked him on the side of the head and Draco glared blackly at him. Harry laughed at his godfather. "Sirius, I'm sorry to say, but you should never insult a Slytherin. And Slytherins aren't that bad, as you should know."

"I know, I know!" the tall, thin man wailed, rubbing his head with one hand and holding his daughter against him with the other.

Many of the students who'd been frozen with terror by the ex-convict's appearance laughed out loud at his behavior. Why, he didn't seem menacing or dangerous at all. And the Headmaster actually seemed fond of him.

After the laughter had died down, Dumbledore told him, "You were secretly acquitted of the murder charges this summer. I didn't want the newspapers to hound Harry, so I kept it quiet. But by tomorrow, everyone will know you are an innocent man."

Professor Snape and Harry stared wide-eyed at the Headmaster. "You could've told us that earlier, at least!"

Professor Dumbledore didn't deign to respond, instead sitting down and continuing his meal. This left two disgruntled males, one giggling toddler, and one shell-shocked ex-convict. Well, and dozens of bewildered onlookers.

* * *

A/N: Part Four up! I hope you enjoyed this part of the story. I hope the fluff scene between Harry and Draco wasn't too contrived-seeming. But I wrote it that way because of the bond the "pregnancy" has created between them. Oh, and to clear anything up, the trimesters go from Monday to Monday, starting at 3:15, which is the time the spell was cast on Draco. Oh, and I apologize for Snape's slight OOC-ness, but I hope you can see why. A daughter would surely tame him, don't you think? And Sirius just _must_ have had an influence on the irritable Potions' professor on his attitude towards Harry. So yeah, that's why Snape isn't as cruel as he usually is. . .although, I promise we will see some of the usual Snape soon! Old habits die hard!

Please review, and thanks for all the past reviews!

Hint for Chapter 5: A Gryffindor interrogation, a letter from Lucius, Draco gets ungainly and moody, and Siria does something peculiar. Oh, and the end of the pregnancy draws near, bringing even more oddities. . .

Roslyn Drycof.


	5. Experiences of a Lifetime

Six part story. Rated PG-13 for moderately mature subjects and language. Genre is Romance/Humor with a dash of Drama. Warning of homosexuality, and slash is featured! Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co., and I don't make any money off of them.

* * *

_**The Joys of Sexual Education**_

**Part Five: Experiences Of A Lifetime**

_By: Roslyn Drycof_

That evening, Harry was given the interrogation of his life by his housemates. After supper, Hermione immediately sat him down in a chair by the fireplace and stood in front of him, her hands on her hips. Several other Gryffindor seventh years, plus one sixth year, were fanned out around her.

"When were you going to tell us Snape has a daughter with Sirius?" she demanded, an angry glitter in her brown eyes.

He sighed. "Soon. I only found out on Wednesday."

"Only on Wednesday! That's several days ago!"

"I was preoccupied with worrying whether the spell to bring Sirius back would work, all right!"

The smart girl cocked her head to the side. "What spell did you use?"

"Something involving blood magic that needed Snape, Siria, Malfoy, and I."

Ginny gasped, "But blood magic is dark!"

Hermione shook her head at the red-haired girl. "Not always. But Harry, why were you four needed?"

"Siria is Snape and Sirius' daughter. Me and Malfoy are going through a simulated pregnancy. Sirius is my godfather and Snape is Malfoy's. We're all connected. The spell brought back the missing link to the circle."

Her eyes widened and she murmured, "Of course! I've heard of magic working like that. But it's so odd that you had the exact bonds needed to form the circle."

Then, a moment later, she frowned. "But why are you and Malfoy shagging? I don't get it. That wasn't needed."

Harry shut his eyes in utter embarrassment. She'd just had to say that out loud, hadn't she? "Hermione, did you have to announce that fact to everyone!"

Ron paled. "But you said you didn't shag him last night!"

Harry lowered his head into the cradle of his arms and mumbled, "We didn't. This afternoon."

"Wait, you're gay!" Ginny suddenly exclaimed, shock tightening her features.

He groaned miserably. Now everything was out.

Ron furrowed his brows for a moment before he gasped out, "You lied to me! You knew exactly who the other two gays were!"

Harry lifted his head and glared at his best friend. "Of course I did! Do you think I was going to announce my orientation right after I'd heard your disparaging viewpoints on homosexuality?"

Hermione interrupted any response the redheaded boy might have made. "So that's why your assignment was pregnancy, because you're both gay. But, why were you partnered with him?"

He raised an eyebrow at her and drawled, "Isn't it obvious? To get over our rivalry."

"But wait, Hermione, I still don't get the pregnancy assignment. Dean and I are together, and we didn't get that assignment," Seamus argued, confused.

The smartest girl at Hogwarts frowned, considering Seamus' point. It was true. Why hadn't he and Dean recieved that assignment? And why specifically Harry and Malfoy? Any other pair, straight or gay, could have gotten that particular one.

"Do you know why, Harry?"

He closed his eyes for a moment before looking past her and into the fire. "Why? Because I want a child more than anything, and I think Malfoy does too. And yet, that's the one thing we can't have because of the situation. A war is not something you bring a child into."

"But you're only seventeen," Ginny protested, bewildered at the longing she heard in his voice.

Emerald eyes shadowed beyond his years, Harry whispered, "Only seventeen. . .I wish that was true."

* * *

Sunday morning, Draco sat at Slytherin table amidst cold stares and whispered words. He'd managed to escape any interrogation the night before, but his housemates had suspected something anyway. He'd been acting oddly ever since the project with Potter had begun, and then there were the rumors in Gryffindor House. Nothing looked good for the Slytherin Ice Prince, nothing.

Although it was not a day for the post, an bird flew in through the windows of the Great Hall. It was a large black hawk that was very familiar to Draco Malfoy. It was his father's bird.

With shaking hands, Draco unwrapped the message from Morgana's leg. She immediately began pecking at his breakfast. Ignoring her, he opened the pieces of parchment.

The letter read:

**Draco, **

**I've heard some odd things about you lately. That your sexual education assignment is a simulated pregnancy with Potter. That you helped Severus bring back Sirius Black. That you are consorting with Potter in a manner that in unbefitting a Malfoy. Are these rumors true? Because if they are, so help me, you are not my son! **

**Respond immediately.**

**Signed, **

**Lucius Malfoy**

Draco set the letter down, a heavy feeling engulfing his chest. His father knew the truth, and any protestations to the opposite would be ignored. He pulled a portable quill and ink from his robe pocket and began writing a response on the sheet of parchment his father had "generously" provided. More like to make sure he couldn't make up any excuses about not being able to write back as soon as he got the letter.

**Father,**

**It is true. I helped Severus bring back the mangy mutt you hate. I am currently going through a simulated pregnancy for sexual education with Potter as my partner. And to be blunt, yes, I am having an affair with Potter. Yes, that means I am gay. I've been gay for over two years. Shocked? I hope so. It is my fondest wish that you rot in hell, and I am glad that I can say that now. Disown me, I do not care. I have money of my own. I do not need you any longer. **

**Please send my regards to the monster that should have died sixteen years ago. May you two suffer together for all eternity when you die.**

**Signed,**

**Draco Malfoy**

He rolled up the sheet of parchment and tied it to Morgana's leg. She flew away as soon as he finished. And Draco knew his life was irrevocably changed.

Blaise Zabini had read what Draco wrote, and was furious. "How dare you still sit amongst us, you disgusting pouf! You are no Slytherin!"

Draco got to his feet and glared at the caramel-haired boy. "I am more of a Slytherin than you'll ever be."

He strode off as quickly as his pregnant form would let him. Leaving the Great Hall, he headed towards Snape's quarters. Maybe Siria would help his mood improve.

A familiar Gryffindor followed him and they moved through the corridors in a companiable silence. They reached Professor Snape's rooms and entered them to find the little girl riding around on Sirius' back. He was in his animal form.

"Sirius, how did she manage to trick you into giving her a doggie ride?" Harry asked his godfather, a grin on his face.

The ex-convict transformed back into a human and tickled his daughter before she could complain about her ride being over. "She's a wily one. And I seem to remember another tyke that loved doggie rides."

Harry laughed, "Hey! It was fun!"

"She thinks so, too."

Harry and Draco sat down on the couch by the fireplace and Sirius gave Siria a toy to keep her busy. A few minutes passed in silence, and then the older man asked his godson, "So, how has it been since I died?"

Harry winced at the word "died", but replied, "Okay, I guess. It was lonely without you, and I know Remus missed you lots."

A sad smile curved Sirius' lips. "Remus, my old buddy. I'll have to see him sometime soon. Has Sev been sending him his wolfsbane potion every month?"

The emerald-eyed boy nodded. "Yes, and he's improved it a bit. Doesn't taste as bad now."

"Well, now that's a feat. From what I've heard, that stuff's nasty and no one could find a way to improve it."

"Of course I'd find a way to improve it, you mutt. I know Lupin means a lot to you," Severus Snape said as he strode into the room.

Draco watched the banter between the three men with longing. It must be nice to have people care about you enough to do stuff like fixing a potion for your best friend. He wished he had someone like that.

No one noticed his subdued expression except for Siria. The little girl looked up from her toy and pursed her lips. She then proceeded to climb up onto the couch and onto Draco's legs, since he didn't exactly have a lap.

She pressed her tiny hands against the mound of his belly and a serious look entered her eyes. Moments later, Draco gasped and pressed one of his own hands to his stomach.

"What did she do?" Harry asked the blond.

"Made the "baby" move. It's weird. It's like she's talking to it, even though nothing's really there."

The other three men frowned, puzzled by his explanation. How could she be doing what she was doing?

After a few minutes, she stopped and climbed back down the couch. She then resumed playing with her toy as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Everyone else was left confused.

Harry placed his hand on Malfoy's stomach and did feel something move. How odd! The book had said nothing about that happening. Could their magic be that strong, that it caused the energy to move like that?

He didn't know, but it sure was an interesting phenomenon to feel.

Harry and Draco visited Siria and Sirius every day. And every day, Siria always came up and greeted Draco's stomach. It was the oddest sight, but no one could persuade her that nothing was there.

Thursday night, Harry went back to Draco's room for the first time since the Friday they'd participated in the spell to bring Sirius back. Both had been nervous about being alone again, and how to go about acting after their intimacy on Saturday. They'd both been inexperienced and yet their being together had felt like the most natural thing in the world. It left them confused.

Now in his eight month, Draco felt horribly ungainly and didn't like taking his robe off for any reason. Even though the room was sweltering hot, he sat down on the bed and wrapped the folds of the robe around him.

Harry, having discarded his too-warm robe minutes ago, leaned against the wall and frowned at the other boy. "Aren't you hot?"

"No." The slight flush on his face told the opposite, and Harry knew it.

"Draco, why are you afraid to take your robes off?"

The blond narrowed his eyes and protested, "I'm not. Where did you get that stupid idea?"

Harry pushed away from the wall and walked over to the bed. He then took ahold of Malfoy's robe and tugged on it. Draco gripped it tightly, a panicked look on his aristocratic features. "Don't! What are you doing! Stop it!"

"No." And with that, Harry succeeded in pulling Draco's robe off. Draco's large stomach was exposed much more than before.

"Holy shit! When did it get that big?" burst out of Harry's mouth before he could stop the words.

Tears glittered in Draco's silver eyes and he snarled, "That's exactly why I kept the robe on! So you wouldn't see the huge bump where my stomach used to be."

Harry instantly regretted opening his big mouth. He knelt down in front of the almost-crying blond and said softly, "I didn't mean it like that, Draco. I was just surprised. You've kept yourself huddled in that robe for the past three days."

"Because I didn't want you to see! It's humongous! How can I be desirable with a bump the size of England!" the "pregnant" boy wailed.

So that was it. He didn't want to be seen as unattractive. Harry thought this was adorable, and entirely unnecessary. He let his eyes fill with the desire he was feeling for the other teen and reached up his hands to begin unbuttoning the shirt that covered his rounded body.

"No. Don't," Draco softly pleaded, trying to move away.

But Harry didn't stop. His fingers nimbly slipped the small buttons through the holes and pulled the sides of the shirt away from his torso. Slowly, he pressed his hands against the large mound, rubbing them in circles across the smooth skin.

Draco moaned, biting his lower lip to try and suppress the sound. "Oh Merlin, don't do that, Potter."

"Why not? You like it," Harry said huskily. He leaned forwards to lick one of Draco's nipples. His nipples were a lot more sensitive now because of the "pregnancy". That single touch sent bolts of pleasure arcing through his body.

Draco arched his back, a loud gasp escaping his lips. "Too much. . ."

Harry pushed him back onto the bed and straddled his hips. "Then I'm not stopping. I want you too much."

Draco tried to see the lie in his words, but all he saw was naked desire. And when Potter lowered his mouth to his, he had no more protests. He gave himself to the pleasure wholeheartedly. If Potter wanted him when he was bloated like a whale, who was he to push him away? Especially when he was really, really hungry for the raven-haired Gryffindor's muscled body?

* * *

Friday afternoon they walked into class together, Draco trying to hide his bump in his robe again. Although, now it wasn't to hide it from Harry, but from everyone else.

He was in a bad mood at the moment, his "pregnancy" giving him nothing but trouble. His ankles were swollen, his back ached, and he waddled. Waddled!

Harry helped him into his seat, which was not very comfortable being wooden and not very large. He crossed his arms and glared at everyone in general, hating the glances he got. Okay, so he looked horrible. Did they have to stare, though? Seriously!

McGonagall got to the front of the room and announced, "As you can see, today is our last class. You will have fifteen minutes to gather up the last of your data and then we'll begin presentations."

There were numerous groans throughout the gathered students. Only fifteen minutes?

Draco tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. "I'm not going," he said to no one in particular.

His partner looked at him as if he'd gone crazy. "Uh, Draco? You do know you're talking to the ceiling. Don't you?"

The blond lowered his head and glared at the emerald-eyed boy. "Of course I do! I don't want to go! I don't even want to fucking move! I feel like shit!"

Harry sighed. Draco was not taking the end of his "pregnancy" well.

They spent the next fifteen minutes in silence. They were ready. All they had to do was share their feelings on the project, since Draco's simulated pregnancy wasn't over yet. Professor Snape had told them to present the final data to him after it was over.

Hermione and Ron were up first. Both looked nervous, and Hermione actually looked a bit pale. It was harder to tell with Ron since he was already always pale, but Harry suspected he was too.

Hermione began, "Our project was to become each other for one week. It was something I was not looking forward to. After I became Ron, I found out things I didn't know about him. Being a guy is not as easy as a lot of girls think it is. . ."

She went on, but Harry tuned her voice out. And when it was Ron's turn to speak, he tuned him out as well. The night before had tired him out, and this was a prime opportunity to get some shut-eye.

Hearing about Dean and Seamus' project was a bit more interesting. Before the project, Seamus had been very irresponsible, and Dean was a bit selfish. They both spoke about how taking care of the baby house elf had helped them realize they couldn't be like that anymore. And so Seamus learned responsibility and Dean learned how to be a lot more of a giver than before.

Harry didn't listen to Blaise and Pansy's presentation at all. And then he and Draco were up. He reluctantly got to his feet and walked around the two desks to Draco's. The blond was effectively trying to kill the houseplant on the windowsill with his death glare for the second time. Harry sighed and helped him out of his seat, although Draco didn't look to happy at being helped up.

Harry had decided that he would start their presentation, but Malfoy jumped right in and started speaking. "I warn all of you never to get pregnant. I don't care how much you want a baby, being pregnant is the worst experience you could ever experience. It's horrible. Your feet hurt, your back aches, you have to pee all the time, you eat like crazy, and you look like an elephant. So don't get pregnant. Ever."

Rolling his eyes, Harry took over. "It's not as bad as that. Draco's just experiencing the worst parts right now."

He got a snort of derision in response from Draco.

"Anyway, I think that it is an amazing experience. And by going through this simulated pregnancy, we were able to bring my godfather back to life. That is something that outweighs any of the cons of this project by a landslide."

Draco, a much softer look on his face, interrupted him there. "Yeah, I guess I was being mean by complaining so much a minute ago. This "pregnancy" has helped me in a lot of ways, and it's obviously helped Potter. And by working together, we've found out stuff about each other that we were blind to before. I also wouldn't mind having a kid for real someday, as long as the War is over by then and he or she can grow up in peace. So yeah. . .having a baby isn't half-bad, although being pregnant does have it's drawbacks."

They then went back to their seats. Draco spent the rest of the class sleeping, and Harry spent it watching Draco sleep.

* * *

The weekend passed uneventfully, Harry and Draco curled up in Draco's bed just talking or cuddling. Draco felt too ungainly for anything else, and Harry didn't mind. He found that talking to and holding the blond was just as satisfying.

Monday morning rolled around, and Draco woke up with mixed emotions. Part of him felt glad that the "pregnancy" would end, but the other part of him was going to miss it. Maybe it was the masochistic part, or the maternal part, but he felt it strongly. Who knew if he was actually going to get a chance to have a real child someday?

He walked into his first class, Charms with Hufflepuff, hoping that a quarter after three wouldn't come. The book Granger had found about the spell said that he'd go through a few hours of "labor" and then it would all go away exactly three weeks after the spell was cast.

They were reviewing a spell that switched objects. It was a review from something in fourth year, but Professor Flitwick wanted them to know it perfectly for what they were doing next.

Draco half-heartedly flicked his wand and caused his ink pot and rucksack to switch places. It was simple magic that he could care less about.

Just as he was about to switch the items back to their original places, he felt an odd tingling in his abdomen. Great. The "labor" was starting, even if it was a few hours early. He sat through several of the twinges, wishing they weren't happening. He didn't want the "pregnancy" to end just yet! What if it made the connection between him and Potter go away?

Yes, that was his biggest fear. Theh simulated pregnancy did bond them, so what if when it was over, the bond completely disappeared?

Class ended soon enough, and Draco gathered up his things. He walked through the halls towards the Transfiguration classroom, his next class. It was a class with Gryffindors.

He sat down in the back corner of the room and closed his eyes. When Potter sat down next to him, he opened them again. "It's begun."

Harry looked surprised. "But it's not supposed to start for another two or three hours."

Draco shrugged. "Maybe I'm just lucky, that I get to experience it longer."

The raven-haired teen wasn't able to reply to that since Professor McGonagall began the class. This lesson wasn't a practical, so students were expected to listen and take notes. Draco didn't feel like taking notes, so he doodled something on his paper.

The "labor pains" continued to bother him throughout the class, and he was experiencing one when he found Professor McGonagall standing beside him and glaring at his parchment that clearly did not hold any notes.

"What is this, Mister Malfoy?" she asked sternly.

He frowned and motioned for her to wait a moment. She looked outraged, but waited. Soon, the annoying twinge subsided and he let out the breath he'd been holding. The stupid "pains" were actually becoming a bit painful. "It's a drawing."

"And why were you drawing when you were supposed to be taking notes?"

Draco shrugged. "I didn't feel like taking notes. And anyway, these twinges keep breaking my concentration."

She frowned at him. "The "pains" are not supposed to start for at least another two hours."

"Tell that to them. I've been feeling them since eight-thirty."

It was ten-thirty at the moment.

"Eight-thirty? That's ridiculous! You couldn't have."

He glowered at her. "Well, I have. And they've started to hurt a bit."

"Preposterous."

Draco crossed his arms and was about to tell her off when Harry interrupted. "He's not lying, Professor. I've noticed that he has gone a bit tense with the most recent ones."

She opened her mouth to speak when the Slytherin boy bit his lower lip and pressed a hand to his rather large belly. But this was impossible!

Draco tried to keep his breathing steady, but couldn't help the slight gasp that escaped his lips. Damn, these were actually becoming painful.

Frowning, Professor McGonagall went back to the front of the room and continued the lesson, trying to ignore the Malfoy boy's behavior.

Harry leaned over towards Draco and whispered, "Are you okay?"

Draco took a deep breath and murmured that he was fine, although he really didn't feel it. He picked up his quill and began scratching at his parchment again. Harry was left no choice but to try and concentrate on the lesson again.

Unfortunately, Draco was soon caught up in another "contraction", and this time he whimpered slightly. Harry turned wide eyes to him and bit his lip. "You don't sound fine, Draco."

The blond shook his head, gripping the desk with his left hand and pressing his right against his protruding belly. When the painful tightening in his abdomen ended, he hissed, "It hurts, all right?"

"Something isn't right. It's not supposed to hurt," Harry said quietly, worry shining in his emerald eyes.

He stood up and helped Draco to his feet as well. Professor McGonagall was stunned as they walked out of the classroom without a backwards glance. She strode over to Draco's desk and a frown furrowed her brows as she stared down at the sketch he'd doodled. A compassionate light entered her eyes and she felt a small smile tug at her lips.

Out in the corridor, Harry turned to Draco and asked him, "Do you want to get Snape?"

Draco nodded, his own worry rising to the surface.

They headed as quickly as Draco's waddling figure would let them and reached the dungeons after three more "contractions". Professor Snape didn't have a class this period, so they headed towards his private quarters where they knew he'd be. They walked inside to find Snape grading tests while Sirius played with Siria.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" the Potions professor asked, looking up from his papers.

Another pain made an appearance and Draco nodded while trying to hold in a gasp. His godfather was immediately on his feet. "What's wrong?"

"They hurt," he whimpered.

Severus' eyes widened and he strode over to him instantly. "What do you mean they hurt? They're not supposed to!"

Harry told him, "And they weren't supposed to start at eight-thirty either."

"Eight-thirty? Sev, that's not right!" Sirius exlaimed.

"I know, Black! Damnit, where is my wand?" Snape snapped, searching his pockets frantically.

Siria held up a long wooden stick and he took it with a small admonishment, "Siria, you are not allowed to touch my wand."

She looked at him with solemn black eyes and pointed at Draco. The blond-haired boy was going through another pain.

"So soon!" Severus exclaimed in surprise.

"Make it stop," Draco pleaded with him.

His godfather didn't answer, instead raising his wand and pointing it towards his rounded belly. Moments later a golden light shone from the area and Snape gasped, his face white.

"What is it!" Harry yelled, panic apparent in his voice.

The Potions professor swallowed harshly before replying, "He's having a baby."

* * *

A/N: Yes, I know I'm evil for cutting it off there. But I had to do it because it was the perfect spot to cut off for the next part. And don't worry, Part Six will be up very soon. It's already finished and should be quite enjoyable. Stick around and find out what happens next!

Thank you for the reviews I've gotten thus far. They've been great, and I'm glad my story is liked. Please review this chapter, too!

Hint for the final chapter: There's a certain clause in Draco's grandmother's will that could mean the loss of his inheritance, Snape shows a bit of his usual snarky behavior, and our favorite werewolf pops in for a visit. . .hmm, what do you make of this?

Roslyn Drycof.


	6. We Have to Get Married

Six part story. Rated PG-13 for moderately mature subjects and language. Genre is Romance/Humor with a dash of Drama. Warning of homosexuality, and slash is featured! Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co., and I don't make any money off of them.

* * *

_**The Joys of Sexual Education**_

**Part Six: We Have To Get Married**

_By: Roslyn Drycof_

"What are you talking about? Of course he is, it's a simulated pregnancy, simulated labor and all."

Snape shook his head at the emerald-eyed boy. "No, he's really having a baby. As in a real, live baby."

"How is this possible!" Finished with the latest pain, Draco cried out, clutching at the boy next to him.

"I don't know. Maybe it was your magic being so strong, maybe the spell, I don't know. But you're going to give birth to a live baby boy in less than four hours."

"No, I can't!" the pale-faced blond yelled, panic shining in his silvery eyes.

Severus frowned. "I know this is shocking, but Draco, you have to come to terms with it."

Draco gripped his godfather's robes tightly and shook his head, "You don't understand! I can't! I cannot have a child out of wedlock!"

The Potions professor went white, comprehension dawning on his sallow features. "Oh dear Merlin! I forgot completely!"

"What! What's going on?" Harry cried out, confusion battering at his mind.

Draco pulled away from him, pacing furiously. One hand cupped his cumbersome belly, the other raking haphazardly through his light blond hair. "My grandmother Malfoy left me a large inheritance, with half of it to go to my firstborn child. But there's a clause in her will that states that if I have that child out of wedlock, all of the money will go to my father and neither I nor my child will see a penny of it."

Harry's mouth dropped open in shock. "You can't be serious!"

The Slytherin shut his eyes and panted softly. After a minute or so, he relaxed and told the other boy, "I'm deadly serious."

Professor Snape added, "And that money's all he has now that he's cut himself off from Lucius. Without it, he's destitute."

Harry collapsed into a nearby armchair, his head cradled in his hands. Damnit! Lucius could not get ahold of that money! And hell, how would Draco live without a penny to his name? And with a kid? Yeah, Harry knew he had a small fortune at Gringotts, but Draco would never accept his money. There was only one thing he could do to help the blond.

"We'll get married."

"What!" Draco spluttered, staring at him with wide grey eyes.

A serious light in his emerald eyes, Harry said, "We'll get married. I know you don't love me, but I'll do anything to help you. And being married wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

Draco walked up to him and looked searchingly into his eyes. Potter looked determined. But was what little they had enough? Draco realized that he kind of loved the stupid Gryffindor, but could he ever love him in return? Could they actually have a life together?

Harry saw the doubts in Malfoy's eyes and felt the overwhelming urge to settle them all. "Draco, I know we haven't had the best of relationships over the years, but it's been real nice lately. I wouldn't mind being married to you."

Another contraction gripped Draco's stomach and he let out a whimper of pain. Grabbing Harry's arm, he said hoarsely, "I wouldn't mind it either. If you know that this is what you want, we'll get married."

Snape cut in just then. "Boys, we have three hours to find you someone who can perform the marriage ceremony and get you bonded."

"Three hours? But you said four!" Harry yelled at him, panic making his voice higher than usual.

The older man told him, "Draco won't be in any position to be saying marriage vows by then."

This caused the squeamish blond to blanch.

Sirius looked up from where he was attempting to put Siria to sleep. "I know someone who can do the ceremony."

"Who?" His lover asked.

A grin lit up the animagus' face. "My old pal, Remus. The Mauraders made him get a license so that he could marry Lily and James."

"Then get him," Harry ordered his godfather, not liking the way Draco was tensed with another pain so soon after the last one.

"You might want to do it Harry, I don't want to make the poor man faint from shock at seeing me alive. He might not wake up in time, the shock would be that great."

Harry growled, stalking over the the fireplace and grabbing a handful of Floo Powder. "Lupin Cottage," he called out in a strong voice.

The flames turned green and soon the face of Remus Lupin appeared. "What is it, Harry?" the slender man asked, a worried frown on his face. Why in the world was Harry summoning him in the middle of the day?

"Remus? Can you come to Hogwarts and perform a marriage?" the raven-haired Gryffindor asked nervously.

Surprise filled the werewolf's warm eyes. "A marriage? Why in the world do you need me to perform a marriage ceremony?"

Gripped by yet another pain, Draco Malfoy stormed up to the fireplace and shouted at his former DADA teacher, "Because Potter and I need to get married before I give birth!"

Remus paled. The Malfoy boy's belly was huge, and he looked like he was in the midst of a _contraction_, Merlin save him! Confused since he hadn't known Harry and Malfoy were dating, let alone hours away from having a child, he asked, "Why did you wait so long?"

Harry sighed and replied, "We didn't know the pregnancy was real. It was supposed to be a simulation that lasted three weeks. And because of a stipulation in his grandmother's will, he has to get married before the baby is born."

"Oh dear. I'll be there in half an hour."

"Half an hour! That's so long!" Draco wailed.

The older man told him, "I have to Apparate to Hogsmeade and use a secret tunnel to get into the school. It'll take awhile."

Before Draco could yell at him to be faster, the fire went back to normal. He growled, stalking over the couch and lowering himself onto it. A groan escaped his lips and he shut his eyes.

Harry felt his heart wrench at the misery written on Malfoy's features. He made his way over to the other boy and sat down beside him. Draco instantly moved closer, leaning his head on his shoulder. "I'm scared," the usually-stoic Slytherin whispered softly.

The teen he was about to get married to ran a hand through his silky blond hair and murmured, "It'll be all right. I'll be right here the whole time."

Those words only reassured Draco slightly. He was glad Potter wasn't going to leave him, but he was too terrified of the pain. And hell, what did he know of parenting? How could he become a father, especially this young and at a time like this?

"This wasn't supposed to happen! We both know the midst of a War is not the right time to bring a child into the world. What if something happens?"

Harry closed his eyes as a wave of pain crashed over him. The possibility of something happening to any one of them was great. Hadn't his own parents been killed, leaving him an orphan at the young age of one? And he was the freaking Boy Who Lived! He had to face Voldemort someday, a fight Harry wasn't sure he'd walk out of alive. Who was he to have a child like this?

"I won't let it. I can't let it," he told Draco, a steely look of resolution in his emerald eyes.

Twenty-nine minutes later, Draco was starting to panic. "Where is he? Ow, these hurt a lot now! Damnit, where is that stupid werewolf!"

He'd been acting like this for the past four minutes.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the entrance to Snape's quarters. Harry sighed in relief. Maybe Draco would calm down now. . .or not. The blond was becoming more and more fidgety with each pain, and was very vocal about them.

Sirius opened the door to let Remus in, and the werewolf almost fell over in shock. "Sirius! B-but you're dead!"

His old friend smiled softly. "Sev found a way to bring me back."

Remus gripped the other Marauder in a tight hug, tears pricking at his eyes. How he'd missed the stupid dog!

"Enough with the reunion! Get over here and get me married!" Draco complained, breaking up their hug.

Harry winced at Draco's behavior. The labor was certainly bringing out the worst in him.

Remus walked towards them, a patient expression on his face that was reminiscent of his days as their DADA professor. "Well, you certainly haven't changed."

Draco snarled at him. "Yes, I have! But I'm in no mood to be nice. This fucking hurts!"

The werewolf clasped his hands behind him, raising an eyebrow at the blond-haired Slytherin.

"All right, all right! I'm sorry. But please, can you just marry us?" he said in a softer voice, a beseeching look in his grey eyes.

Remus nodded. "I need you and Harry to stand up in front of the fireplace, facing each other."

Harry quickly stood up and half-lifted Draco off the couch. They walked over to the fireplace and did as he asked. "Good. Now place both of your hands in each other's hands."

They obeyed, a nervous anticipation racing through their veins. Remus moved closer to them and bowed his head. "Today, the souls of Draconis Lucius Malfoy and Harold James Potter will join together for all eternity. Although they were once bonded with the chains of hatred, they shall now bond with the threads of love."

A light began to glow around the figures of Harry and Draco. The physical world fell away, and all they saw was each other. Emerald light surrounded Harry while silver light surrounded Draco, and golden threads of light spun around them, binding their energies together.

If Remus was surprised that they were reacting to the marriage ceremony so strongly, he didn't show it. "May their love never fade, never shatter, and continue to grow until the day they are finally accepted by the Goddess and set free from their physical forms. Harry, Draco, repeat after me: _De la rian ce la rian_."

The two teenagers, lost in the light, spoke as if in a trance. Their voices, soft and pure, blended together like the song of the stars. "_De la rian ce la rian_."

Then suddenly, the light flared so brightly that the room was engulfed in its radiance. It disappeared in a flash, flowing back into Harry and Draco's bodies so abruptly that they cried out, collapsing against each other. Draco shuddered, immense pain gripping his slender frame.

"Draco!" Harry cried out, gathering the moaning blond into his arms. The sleeves of his robe fell back, revealing a faintly-glowing silver bracelet encircling the wrist of his left arm. An identical bracelet shone against the alabaster skin of Draco's wrist as well.

"Oh my," Sirius, Remus, and Severus gasped, their eyes locked on the shimmering bracelets. Soulmate bands! Of course! That's why Harry and Draco were bound so tightly, why the simulated pregnancy had ended up being real!

Harry jerked his head up, a glare burning in his emerald eyes. "Don't just stand there! Something's wrong!"

Severus shook his head, coming over to rest a hand on the angry boy's shoulder. "Nothing's wrong. Your bond quickened the labor. Draco will give birth in less than an hour."

Harry looked down at his new husband, his eyes wide. Draco was still whimpering with pain, his eyes screwed tightly shut and his hands pressed against the mound of his belly. Sweat glistened on his pale face, and Harry felt his heart clench painfully. What pain Draco was going through!

"We have to get him to his room," Snape told the Gryffindor a few moments later, a sympathetic look on his usually-stern face.

Harry nodded, slowly getting to his feet. He cradled Draco against him protectively, and the other boy wrapped his arms around his neck, pressing as closely against him as his rounded body would allow. Draco's eyes opened and he murmured, "Please. It hurts so much."

Tightening his arms around his former-rival, Harry strode out of Snape's quarters and towards the Head Boys' room. Minerva McGonagall stood in the corridor looking like she'd been about to knock on the entrance to Professor Snape's rooms. She paled at the sight of Draco cradled in Harry's arms.

"What. . ."

Harry told her over his shoulder, "He's really having a baby."

McGonagall was left to stare in shock as he disappeared down the hall. Severus Snape followed, not giving her a second glance.

Harry reached Draco's rooms in no time and immediately entered the spacious bedroom. Gently, he placed the other boy on the bed climbed up beside him. Draco struggled to sit up, and Harry helped him settle between his legs. The pregnant teen leaned back against his husband's chest, a sigh escaping his mouth.

"Can this be over now?" he asked.

A small smile curved Harry's lips. "I wish it could. I'd give anything to get rid of your pain."

"Actually, Potter, there is a way to lessen the pain Draco's feeling," Professor Snape cut in, a very Snape-like look in his coal-black eyes.

Harry frowned. "There is?"

"Yes. Whenever he experiences a contraction, concentrate on your bond. You'll be able to draw some of his pain into yourself. It'll hurt like hell, but if you really want to lessen his pain. . ."

Harry didn't care about the pain. He wanted to help Draco, and help he would. "I'll do it."

"But Sev, how is that possible? I've never heard of anyone doing that before," Draco commented, his brows furrowed in confusion.

The Potions professor pointed to the identical bracelets encircling their wrists. "You're soulmates. You're bonded perfectly with each other."

Comprehension shone in his silver eyes. Soulmates? Was it really possible? A feeling of utter happiness engulfed him and he nestled against Harry even closer.

Harry, not familiar with everything in the wizarding world, only knew that being soulmates was something rare and good. It was enough for him. He pressed a kiss to Draco's temple, feeling the happiness pulsing through the blond.

Suddenly, Draco's belly spasmed, another contraction tightening the muscles and causing him to cry out. Harry, hating the pain he heard in Draco's voice, closed his eyes and concentrated on their newfound bond. And suddenly, he felt pain coursing through his own stomach. He gasped, biting his lip. How did Draco stand this!

When the contraction ended, Snape commented, "I told you it would hurt."

Harry scowled at the sallow-faced man. "Shut up."

Draco laughed weakly, "Hey, that's my line."

Fifty minutes later, at twelve-fifteen, Draco gave birth to a baby boy. The tiny figure had a wealth of black hair on his head and a shriek that could be heard corridors away. And although his eyes were the blue of all newborn babies, both Harry and Draco instinctively knew that they'd soon turn in to the color of molten silver.

After examining the little boy, Severus left the new parents with only few parting comments. "Draco, you should be fine within a few hours. Take it easy for the next few days since you'll still be weak, but if Potter helps you, you should be able to come to supper. If you decide to, I'm sure you'll raise a wonderful ruckus. Now, the child will probably be hungry soon, so I'll have a house elf bring some formula and instructions on how to feed him properly. Good luck!"

Harry and Draco barely heard him leave, they were so busy looking at their son. At the moment, he was asleep, and he looked so peaceful. They couldn't take their eyes off him.

"What should we name him?" Harry breathed, running a finger gently down a silky smooth arm.

Draco shifted the green and silver blanket covering the baby and thought for a moment. "James?"

Surprise shone in Harry's emerald eyes. "Really?"

"You loved your father very much, I can tell. I think it's a fitting name for your son. And besides, Siria needs another little Marauder to get into mischief with." Draco's eyes sparkled when he said the last part, causing Harry to laugh.

"That little girl doesn't need any help getting into mischief, but you're right. James would be a good name for him. What do you think of the middle name Lukas? It means _luminous_, and his light is a very strong gold."

Draco took an instant liking to the name. James Lukas Potter-Malfoy. Yes, he'd agreed that Potter-Malfoy sounded slightly better than Malfoy-Potter, however much his pride wished otherwise.

"James Lukas Potter-Malfoy. It fits him."

They spent the next five hours resting, tired out from the events of earlier. They woke got up around five, took a shower and changed clothes for their big appearance in the Great Hall. Draco was looking forward to causing a scene, even if he was still a bit tired.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" Harry asked him as they walked through the corridors of the school towards the Great Hall.

Draco adjusted the weight of their son and replied, "Of course. It's not like I'm a muggle. Wizards and witches have the luxery of being healed by a medi-witch immediately after birth and so we can be back to our normal lives within hours. So what if I'm a little tired? A little sleep will cure that easily."

Little James decided to wake up just then and let out a soft cry. Harry instantly took him from Draco and fussed over him. This caused Draco to laugh, which caused the Gryffindor to glare.

"You do realize you look nothing like the unyielding hero when you coo at him, don't you?" the blond commented, a teasing light in his grey eyes.

Harry cuddled the tiny baby in the crook of his arm and muttered, "Like you looked like the icy Slytherin when you were fussing over him earlier."

They'd reached the doors to the Great Hall by then and paused. Draco turned his head and whispered, "Ready?"

A very un-Gryffindorish light entered Harry's emerald eyes and he replied, "Are you kidding me?"

They walked through the ornate doors and into the Great Hall. Within moments, silence reigned as everyone turned to stare in shock at the trio. Was that a baby in Harry Potter's arms?

Pretending to not see the stares, Harry made his way over to the Gryffindor table, Draco close behind. They sat down across from Hermione and Ron, Ginny and Neville beside them.

"Um, Harry? What's Malfoy doing here and why are you holding a baby?" Ron asked the obvious question everyone was burning to see answered.

James made a whimpering sound and Harry rocked him back and forth gently. "Shh, Jamie. Go back to sleep."

The little boy just whimpered again. "Here, give him to me," Draco told the raven-haired teenager.

Harry pouted. "But I like holding him."

Draco glared. "Who just went through excrutiating pain to give birth to him? Now give him to me!"

"Hey, I drew some of the pain into myself, you know," Harry muttered, reluctantly handing James over to his other father.

"You only felt a quarter of what I felt, Potter," Draco told his husband haughtily, rubbing his hand in soothing circles across the baby's back.

"Harry?" Hermione's soft voice questioned.

The savior of the wizarding world looked up at her and grinned at the look of utter confusion on her face. It was a good look on her.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind answering Ron's question?" she asked politely, although Harry knew she was itching for him to blurt out the truth already.

"Not at all. We got married and James is our baby."

This only confused the know-it-all even more. "Huh?"

Hearing the sound that normally came out of Ron's mouth caused Harry to burst out in laughter, Draco joining him, although not as loudly. She glared at them in response.

"Okay, okay. We found out that Draco's pregnancy wasn't simulated, our being soulmates making it turn real, although we didn't learn the cause of its being real until we got married. We got married because of some stipulation in Draco's grandmother's will. Isn't Jamie cute?"

Trying to process what she'd just been told, Hermione nodded absent-mindedly. "Adorable."

Harry smiled proudly. "I knew you'd think so."

Ginny, quiet before, suddenly said, "But Harry, I thought you and Malfoy said that it was wrong to bring a child into the middle of a war."

The light in his emerald eyes dimmed and he stared at James with an inscrutable expression on his features. Draco was the one to answer her. "We did, but it's something we'll just have to live with. Didn't our own parents take the same risk in bringing us into the world? We're all the children of war. Harry and I would give our lives for James, even though we hope it never comes down to that. It's a possibility we can't ignore. But I wouldn't give up having him for anything."

"Well said, Mister Malfoy," a stern female voice said after he finished speaking.

Professor McGonagall stood a few feet away, a piece of parchment in her hand. A smile curved her thin lips, giving her a younger, less harsh appearance. She held out the piece of parchment to the blond-haired Slytherin. "I believe this is yours. I hope to see it become reality in a few months."

Draco used his free hand to take the drawing he'd doodled during her class that morning. It was a sketch of him and Harry in their graduation robes cradling a tiny baby with raven-black hair and silver eyes.

"Thank you, Professor McGongall. I hope so, too," he told the older witch, a solemn smile on his aristocratic features.

As she turned to walk away, Draco let the piece of parchment flutter to the table. The black ink shone in the light, catching the attention of the raven-haired teen sitting next to him. His emerald eyes fastened on the smooth lines of the drawing, the same hope echoed in the depths of Harry Potter's heart.

**_fin_**.

* * *

A/N: Okay, I somehow managed to drag this story out longer than I ever could've imagined when I originally started it. I just couldn't stop it all from flying out of my mind and onto my computer screen. It's just so sweet!

I hope you enjoyed this little tale. If I get enough responses to encourage me and I find the time, I might write a sequel story. Tell me what you think!

A few notes:

-_De la rian ce la rian_ is a phrase I made up for another story I had stashed away on my computer. It's not in any real language, but what I thought the language of Atlantis might have sounded a bit like. This phrase means "my soul to your soul".

-James Lukas Potter-Malfoy was born on February 2, coincidentally, my birthday. I randomly picked Siria to be born on January 21, and the days just fell into place the way they did.

-I worked out an entire calendar of Draco's pregnancy and how it was broken up. I also created a representation of how the blood magic spell that brought Sirius back to life worked. I was very thorough on this story and made sure there were no big loopholes. So yes! I am a fanfiction freak! Yay!

Thank you for reading this story. And thank you for the wonderful reviews. Please review this last chapter and tell me what you thought of it! I'm just really excited because this is my first full-length story I've managed to finish. Yay for me!

Music I listened to while writing this story: **Breaking Benjamin, Sum41, Good Charlotte, Lacuna Coil**

Much love,

Roslyn Drycof.


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